SHITSHOW SATURDAY #88 - Powerlessness & Unmanageability
Adult Child
Andrea
4.9 • 1.8K Ratings
🗓️ 20 January 2024
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY DETOX RETREAT March 5th-7th - Free online event w/ 14 experts teaching you strategies you can use to overcome the impact of toxic family dynamics.
Today's episode is a recent recording from a Shitshow Support group where we discuss ACA Step 1 "Step One “We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable”, including the below reading from Language of Letting Go -
Powerlessness and Unmanageability
Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is.
"I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman.
I spent my childhood trying to make an alcoholic father who didn't love himself be a normal person who loved me. I then married an alcoholic and spent a decade trying to make him stop drinking.
I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people be emotionally present for me. I have spent even more years trying to make family members, who are content feeling miserable, happy.
What I'm saying is this: I've spent much of my life desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I couldn't. It's been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds grow peas. Won't work!
By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do with my life.
In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become.
Today, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and I'll allow my life to become manageable.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | My dear shit shows, I want to let you know about a free online event that you definitely don't want to miss out on. |
| 0:06.5 | The dysfunctional family detox that is being held March 5th through March 7th. |
| 0:11.6 | This is being organized by friend of the pod recurring |
| 0:14.5 | guest Laura K. Connell and over the course of those three days you will get to |
| 0:18.4 | hear from 14 different experts including yours truly although I don't know if I really consider myself an expert, |
| 0:24.8 | but whatever, on a variety of different dysfunctional family |
| 0:29.2 | related topics. |
| 0:30.6 | Let me tell you some of the names of these presentations to wet your whistle a little bit, okay? |
| 0:34.8 | So we have ties that hurt, betrayal trauma within the family. |
| 0:39.7 | The link between chronic pain and narcissistic abuse. How to heal codependency and let go of anger and |
| 0:45.0 | resentment, how hidden in posture syndrome affects relationship dynamics. |
| 0:49.0 | So those are just a few of the presentations that you can get access to. The half hour interviews for that day |
| 0:55.7 | will be released at 10 a.m. Eastern and will be available for 24 hours. You will have |
| 1:00.7 | access to a private Facebook group where you can connect with the |
| 1:04.8 | experts and other retreat participants and then also after registering you can |
| 1:10.0 | upgrade to the all access pass which means that you can get ongoing access to the presentations, |
| 1:16.0 | beyond the 24 hours, as well as premium bonuses from the speakers. |
| 1:21.2 | So see the show notes for a link to register for this event. Again, totally free, totally |
| 1:26.3 | online. Get on it folks. Mm-hmm, yeah. |
| 1:33.0 | Yeah. |
| 1:34.0 | Oh. |
| 1:40.0 | Oh. |
... |
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