Hey everybody, you may have noticed there's a little not a trick. It's a special treat for note

to self-listeners. A bonus episode this week it is with MIT professor, researcher, psychologist,

sociologist, all around smart, awesome woman, Sherry Terkel. Enjoy.

MIT professor Sherry Terkel describes herself as a student of conversation, a trained sociologist,

teacher, and clinical psychologist. Her previous book, Alone Together, Topped the New York Times

Best Seller List, and her new book is called Reclaiming Conversation. Numerous note to self-listeners

have requested to hear her on the show and so I am so pleased to be able to welcome her here

today. I'm delighted to be here. Conversation with reclaiming conversation.

Oh, that's exciting. So you definitely think that we, the way that we interact with our technology

changes the way that we interact with one another in person. And one of, if I just may read to you,

say if we outsource all of our emotional conversations to technology, we lose out on empathy.

Yeah, what what happens exactly? Yeah, I mean, there's a very significant study that shows that

if I put, when there are several studies here, but we just cite a couple, if I put a phone,

we're sitting face to face now. If I put a phone on the table between us, the quality

of our conversation changes, it deteriorates. Plus, you and I will feel less emotional connection to

each other. And this study was then redone with not putting a phone on the table between us,

but putting a phone on the periphery of our vision so that even a silent phone disconnects us.

So that's the first study that really shows that if you want to have a conversation with someone,

keep your phone out of sight because really what the phone is saying is that this conversation

could be interrupted. And it just makes common sense that if you're thinking you could be

interrupted, it's not the moment that you're going to share something really intimate. So these are

the kind of issues where empathy or a feeling of connection or a feeling that these conversations

...