Sheleana Aiyana | Toxic Love: How Your Hormones Keep You Addicted To Bad Partners

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast

Josh Trent

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 913 Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2026

⏱️ 73 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why do we lose ourselves in love, repeat painful relationship patterns, and mistake intensity for intimacy instead of becoming whole within ourselves first?

Josh Trent welcomes Sheleana Aiyana to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 800, to explore why self-abandonment drives relationship chaos, how attachment wounds and the mother wound shape romantic bonds, what becoming the one truly means, how grief and motherhood catalyze deep healing, and why divine union begins with reclaiming self-trust, presence, and inner wholeness before partnership.

About The Guest

Sheleana Aiyana is the best-selling author of Becoming the One and the founder of Rising Woman, a global community dedicated to self-healing, relational transformation, and spiritual embodiment. Her work blends somatic awareness, inner child healing, and grounded spiritual insight to guide millions through the landscapes of heartbreak, love, and personal rebirth.

Having grown up in foster care and overcome cycles of abuse, addiction, and heartbreak, Sheleana's teachings are not theoretical, they are lived. Through Rising Woman, she has helped millions remember that healing is not about becoming someone else, but about reclaiming the love, power, and wholeness that was always theirs.

🍄 A fully legal psychedelic microdose? YES!

EONS' DIALED is derived from the Amanita muscaria mushroom (WITHOUT hallucinogenic experiences). DIALED works on the subconscious level, helping to overcome limiting beliefs and negative habits, all while promoting a balanced circadian rhythm and having beneficial effects on mental health without the risks. Save 20% on DIALED with code "JOSH20"

🔥 The Ultimate Fat-Burning Keto Supplement

Unlock next-level ketosis with BiOptimizers kAPEx, a 100 % plant-based enzyme stack that spikes AMPK activity by up to 300 %, ramps up ATP production, and wipes out keto-flu fatigue before it starts. Save 10% on BiOptimizers with code "JOSH10"

In This Episode, Sheleana Aiyana Uncovers:

[01:15] Why We Lose Ourselves In Relationships

Why many people abandon themselves to maintain connection.
What drives us to seek an emotional rollercoaster in a relationship.
Why oxytocin keeps us bonded to our partner.

Resources:

[06:40] Your Soul Came Here to Learn

Why our souls come to Earth to search for learning.
How chaotic relationships can teach us to walk away and find peace.
Why new generation has the advantage of having access to healing tools and information.
How older generations lived in survival and didn't think of healing.

[11:10] Becoming The One

What becoming the one for ourselves truly means.
How we project oneness onto our parents as children.
Why we seek oneness through romantic partnership.
The importance of self-awareness in relationships.
How children form attachment wounds through their parents' behavior.

[16:10] Awakening Through Relationships

How women shine a mirror on men through their womanhood.
Why it's rare for couples to awaken at the same time.
What Sheleana learned from her previous partners.
How she had a vision of her purpose when she was in an abusive relationship.

Resources:

Benjamin Goresky

[20:50] Mother Wound

Why Sheleana faced her mother wound after her first marriage ended.
How she lost everything because of her ex-husband.
What made her realize her marriage was a mirror to her childhood wounds.
How she was mothering her first husband.
Why the breakup was like a psychedelic journey.

[25:45] True Depth of Transformation + Healing

How Sheleana's grief sent her on a transformation path.
Why her work was to clear the path for her daughter.
How Josh found healing and liberation.
What was Sheleana's first experience with ayahuasca like.
How she released her mother wound.

[32:10] When Motherhood Reopens It Heals Your Wounds

What Sheleana has learned through raising her daughter.
The challenges of being a mother.
How her daughter made her face her mother's inner child.
Why Sheleana chooses to trust and surrender to the process of life.
How mothers' job is to preserve their children's essence.

Resources:

[38:55] What Is The Role of A Parent?

Why parents model self-trust and instict.
How nothing will prevent our children from learning their lessons.
What Sheleana does to exercise her daughter's instincts and intuition.
Why her baseline is a relaxed state.
How our children teach us to slow down and be present.
Why children can fill us with creativity.

[46:55] Life Feels Heavy When You Abandon Yourself

Why bitterness and resentment signal self-abandonment.
How unmet needs cannot be fixed by self-care.
What inspired Sheleana to create a journal.
How she found masculine energy in nature.
Why men need to embrace the feminine energy within them.

[53:45] Relationship Rebirth

Why Josh and his wife got pregnant 9 months into the relationship.
How Sheleana's first two years of her current relationship were challenging.
Why she chose to take care of herself when they were in conflict.

[01:00:15] Pain Is a Passage

Why love comes with deep grief.
How loving deeply requires letting go of control.
What helped Sheleana to move through her grief and sadness.

[01:03:05] What Is A Divine Union?

Why divine union starts with a deep relationship with oneself.
How true love provides and requires inner transformation.
Why vulnerability can be performative.
How true vulnerability can't be forced.
Why we repeat patterns of our lineage.

Resources:

784 Dr. Steven Young: How To Use Your Mind to Shift Reality At Will

"In a trauma bond, there's a hormonal cocktail happening in the body that's of anchoring it in. You get really big dopamine spikes when you are engaging in the drama. When it moves into the conflict cycle, you get the cortisol spike. And then when you move into repair, you get a flood of oxytocin. Imagine repeating that cycle over and over in a really dramatic relationship that creates a sense of bonding. It's not a healthy or true love, it just feels familiar." — Sheleana Aiyana

Leave Wellness + Wisdom a Review on Apple Podcasts

All Resources From This Episode

Josh's Trusted Products | Up To 40% Off

Shop All Products

Biohacking⁠

Wellness Test Kits

Nutrition + Gut Health

Supplements

Sleep

Natural Energy

Fitness + Physical Health

Healthy Home

Mental Health + Stress Release

Personal Care⁠

Mindfulness + Meditation

Clothing

Free Resources

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	In a trauma bond or in these more chaotic dynamics, it's really a hormonal cocktail that's kind of anchoring it in.
0:07.0	You get these really big dopamine spikes when you are engaging in the drama and then it moves into the conflict cycle and that's the cortisol spike.
0:18.0	And then you move through that cycle into repair and then you get this flood of oxytocin
0:23.4	imagine repeating that cycle over and over and over in a really dramatic relationship that really creates a sense of bonding
0:31.7	i remember i had been locked in the bathroom and i was looking in the mirror at my own reflection
0:36.5	and i could barely recognize
0:38.0	myself. He, you know, had sort of just left our home with all of his belongings in the home
0:43.8	just sort of ghosted me. I lost all of my money. Everything has been taken. He came in to grab some
0:49.5	things. As he drove off down that road, I stood there on the side of the road and I had no shoes on.
0:56.5	We tend to clarify our environment and the people who are meant to walk with
1:02.5	by showing up as our most authentic self in the present moment.
1:05.9	And that either qualifies people to remain in our lives or it clarifies that they're no longer a fit.
1:18.3	What is it in your experience that confuses us from a somatic experience between chemistry that's
1:26.8	intense and true love? Well, I mean, I think what's
1:30.9	interesting about trauma bonds is that there's this really intense attachment that are formed
1:36.8	through highs and lows. So you're basically going on a roller coaster with somebody and that's how
1:42.3	you're bonding with them, right? And that is not
1:46.1	obviously love, but it's the most familiar thing. And so for a lot of us, our original imprint of what
1:53.1	we would maybe unconsciously deem love is uncertainty or chaotic or disorganized in some way.
2:03.1	And so there is this imprint in the nervous system of anticipation or uncertainty or excitement
2:10.5	or that high and low.
2:13.1	And so, you know, from a nervous system, neurology standpoint,
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Josh Trent, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Josh Trent and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.