Shelby Oaks Review
Horror Movie Talk
Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review
4.2 • 652 Ratings
🗓️ 29 October 2025
⏱️ 86 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is soaked in an intense amount of hater-ade, due to Bryce hating Chris Stuckmann for no real reason.

Synopsis
Shelby Oaks is written and directed by Chris Stuckmann, the movie reviewer you get recommended if you don’t sign into YouTube. the film is about a woman’s search for her missing sister who was a (hold onto your hat) Vlogging celebrity. The mystery of the disappearance is unraveled through a series of horror tropes and clichés where it is revealed at the end that everyone got Stuckmannized.
Review of Shelby Oaks
I’ve got to admit, I really didn’t want to like this movie going into the theater. There’s something about a crowd sourced movie by one of the most milquetoast, non-committal YouTube movie reviewers getting a wide release that just makes me feel like I’m living in a dystopian reality. However, I was pleasantly surprised that Shelby Oaks was actually a pretty bad movie.
This is exactly the type of movie that I would expect from a milquetoast non-committal YouTube movie reviewer. Its narrative style goes from found footage and documentary in the opening sequences and then just kind of abandons ship and proceeds to just be a normal Hollywood horror film. The same lack of decision making is demonstrated through a variety of plot devices that cover numerous horror tropes to explain the disappearance. Was it a stalking killer, a demon, a cult ritual killing, maybe just scary ghosts? Stuckmann clicks yes on all of them and proceeds to make a pretty derivative, boring horror movie.
The most egregious part of the film was what led to most of my enjoyment. No not enjoyment, schadenfreude. I’m talking about the bizarre production and directing choices that broke any semblance of suspension of disbelief and had me constantly asking if I was being Stuckmannized. There were so many unintentionally funny moments in this movie that had me wondering if Stuckmann knew how time worked or if he took into account how humans behave in reality. Also, the film completely shoots itself in the foot with a plot that reveals way too much too early for trying to rely on mystery to be its hook. I’ll get into my nitpicks in the spoilers section, but suffice it to say that I was chuckling at the movies expense several times throughout.
This isn’t to say that there weren’t good parts. the film is a patchwork of tried and true suspense techniques that are visually executed as good as most horror movies. The acting is fine, although there isn’t much to work with in terms of character development or motivation outside of what is implied through familial relations.
Anyway it sucked.
Score
3/10
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | All right, everybody. |
| 0:01.1 | Today we review Shelby Oaks. |
| 0:03.3 | Get ready to be stuckmanized. |
| 0:05.9 | Is this a metal thing? |
| 0:23.3 | Yes. |
| 0:24.7 | What taste? |
| 0:26.2 | David. |
| 0:26.8 | David, David, what is this? |
| 0:28.2 | Pretty sick. |
| 0:29.8 | I have to kill a lot of people. |
| 0:32.5 | Just tell me what you want me to fuck. |
| 0:34.1 | I have big, hit the pretty tiny vagina. |
| 0:36.8 | Oil me up, daddy. |
| 0:38.2 | I can't believe. |
| 0:39.3 | This one is for big tits. |
| 0:41.3 | Missletoe alert. |
| 0:42.5 | This is backcountry. |
| 0:43.3 | This guy was a real jerk. |
| 0:44.5 | How long can Hugo being prognate? |
| 0:46.7 | Chop, chop, chop, chop. |
| 0:47.8 | How long, you're such a dick, David. |
| 0:49.6 | Okay, everybody, put on your corpse handling gloves. |
... |
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