She Called Him 'Hero' While He Allegedly Killed 7 Women: FBI Expert Analyzes Asa Ellerup's Denial
Hidden Killers With Tony Brueski | True Crime News & Commentary
True Crime Today
3 • 791 Ratings
🗓️ 18 June 2025
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Description: In one of the most psychologically complex aspects of the Gilgo Beach murders case, Asa Ellerup continues to stand by her husband Rex Heuermann, calling him her "hero" despite charges he murdered seven women. She describes visiting him in jail as feeling like "a first date" - nervous and excited. Former FBI Special Agent Robin Dreeke provides unprecedented analysis of this profound denial and what it reveals about trauma, love, and the human capacity for self-deception.
While daughter Victoria has concluded her father is "most likely" the Gilgo Beach killer after seeing overwhelming evidence, Asa tours the basement where prosecutors allege murders occurred and dismisses the theory as "absolutely absurd" and "Dexter-style." This stark family divide offers a real-time case study in how different people process the same devastating information.
Dreeke, former head of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Program, explains the psychological mechanisms behind such powerful denial: trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, and the mind's protective ability to reject information that would shatter one's entire worldview. He discusses how 27 years of marriage create a "truth infrastructure" that's almost impossible to demolish, even when faced with damning evidence including DNA links, a murder planning document, and trophy collections.
The conversation delves into the broader implications for anyone who's ever wondered "Would I know?" Dreeke reveals why intelligent, observant people can miss signs of deception from those closest to them, and what this case teaches us about the difference between healthy trust and dangerous denial. He also addresses the financial and emotional factors that might influence Asa's public stance, including her battle with cancer without insurance and participation in a controversial documentary.
This episode is essential listening for anyone grappling with betrayal, those supporting family members in denial, or anyone seeking to understand how love can blind us to terrible truths.
Hashtags: #AsaEllerup #RexHeuermann #GilgoBeachKiller #Denial #TraumaBonding #FBIProfiler #RobinDreeke #TrueCrime #PsychologicalDenial #CognitiveDissonnace #SerialKillerWife #FamilyBetrayal #TrueCrimePodcast #StandingByYourMan #LongIslandSerialKiller #LISK #CrimePsychology #RelationshipBlindness #ToxicLoyalty #BehavioralAnalysis #TrueCrimeCommunity #WomenInDenial #MarriageAndMurder #FamilyTrauma #JusticeForVictims
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Transcript
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| 0:54.4 | everything secure. |
| 0:56.8 | This is the Hidden Killers podcast with Tony Bruske and continuing coverage of the case against |
| 1:03.6 | Rex Hewerman. Otherwise, affectionately known as the Gilgo Beach killer or the Long Island |
| 1:10.3 | serial killer, allegedly. |
| 1:12.9 | Lots of new information coming out. |
| 1:15.6 | More so, I think, to scratch our itch of what the hell was going on in that house. |
| 1:22.4 | Because that's what we've been speculating on since he was arrested. |
| 1:25.8 | Of course, his house, the Massapequa Park in New York, |
| 1:29.2 | looked kind of like a hoarder's house, to put it lightly. Kind of surprising for a guy that's |
| 1:34.3 | somewhat a skilled and respected architect in New York City to be living in such a situation. |
| 1:40.8 | It was kind of a little bit incongruent. But we also wondered, okay, if he's doing all |
| 1:45.2 | these things and he has this weird basement that has all sorts of weaponry in it and allegedly |
| 1:51.8 | child porn and all sorts of horrible things, a manifest on how to kill people, what's going on |
| 1:57.9 | there? What's going on with the wife, Asa? They've been married for decades. |
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