This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio.

Good morning.

The Ottersombley Drougher pen. This is a terrible star.

This is the Frank Skinner show.

I can't deny it any longer, though.

I'm not Frank Skinner.

Frank can't be here today.

He's had a last minute call up for Love Island.

Birmingham bombshell.

Incoming.

I promise he will be back next week, though,

by which time football may have even come home.

And looking forward to a two-day wait in baggage reclaim.

We may not have our esteemed leader with us today,

but we do have the very wonderful Pierre Navelli.

Hello.

Or as I call him, Pete Nue, just to keep him grounded.

I'm trying to find a jittery jingle, Pierre.

We have a little French.

Oh, my galaic, my galaic sting.

Where's Pierre's galaic jingle? Let's go for this.

LAUGHTER

...