Shadow Work For Couples | Triggers, Nervous System, Parts Work & 10 Relationship Healing Exercises
2 Be Better
Chris Burkett
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 26 December 2025
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this 2 Be Better Podcast deep dive, Chris and Peaches break down shadow work in plain English and show you how to use it without burning your life down. You will learn what the “shadow” actually is, why it is not evil, and how it shows up as overreactions, people pleasing, perfectionism, jealousy, shutdown, and that harsh inner critic that never shuts up. They walk you through the three layer model of trigger, meaning, and action urge, how your nervous system sets the ceiling for your insight, and why naming your parts, your stories, and your body sensations gives you your power back. You will also hear how shadow work ties directly into intimacy, why unspoken wounds get blamed on your partner, and how to start telling the truth about your reactions without turning it into self attack or character assassination.
From there, they move into ten step by step shadow work exercises you can do alone or as a couple, including “the story I tell myself,” family echoes from your childhood home, trigger maps and care plans, resentment to request, ritual release, values to behaviors, and future memory scenes that help you manifest different outcomes instead of repeating the same fight in new outfits. You will get concrete scripts for naming your parts, asking for space without stonewalling, coming back with one clear request, using check ins, repair rehearsal, and parts dialogue so you can stop living in survival mode and start living as your real self. If you are looking for shadow work for couples, nervous system regulation, marriage communication tools, Jungian shadow work, or practical spiritual growth that you can use in real relationships, this episode gives you a full framework plus a free downloadable PDF of the exercises on the 2BeBetter.com resources tab so you can follow along and actually do the work
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Look how far we've come, all the things we've done, did it all with love, |
| 0:09.0 | beauty from the bottom of, all I want is you, you're my favorite view, but there's nothing more. |
| 0:20.0 | Girl, you made my heart. And we are back. |
| 0:23.8 | Welcome back Bumble Bitches. |
| 0:25.7 | So last week we recorded something where we read off of a document. |
| 0:29.6 | We did. |
| 0:30.3 | And during that read, Shadowwork came up. |
| 0:32.3 | And Shadowwork has been a conversation that's happened a couple of times since then. |
| 0:36.8 | So we prepared another document. |
| 0:38.5 | We are going to be going through and having conversations about shadow work. |
| 0:42.2 | And at the end of this, we're going to give you 10 exercises that you can do as a couple |
| 0:46.4 | to do shadow work and support and grow and involve. |
| 0:49.8 | That download is available on our resources tab on To Be Better.com. |
| 0:53.7 | It's already created. |
| 0:54.8 | You guys can go download it and you can read along with us if you want when we get to the exercises. |
| 0:58.7 | Exciting. |
| 0:59.4 | But we're going to start here. |
| 1:00.7 | We'll be reading, conversing, and then we'll get any of the exercises. |
| 1:04.4 | While my husband is helping me. |
| 1:06.6 | So for the last month, I have started doing daily affirmations for my private women's groups. |
| 1:16.0 | And they seem to be enjoying it. |
| 1:18.1 | I am enjoying it. |
... |
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