Shadow Work For Anxious Attachment
ManTalks Podcast
Connor Beaton
4.8 • 591 Ratings
🗓️ 6 February 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Talking points: psychology, the shadow, attachment theory
Now there's a mouthful of psych words! All jokes aside, a Jungian perspective on attachment theory is a powerful combo. This week, I'm laying out a simple definition for the shadow and anxious attachment, and a straightforward way to begin the work yourself right away. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - A quick primer on anxious attachment and the shadow
(00:05:17) - The first thing you need to figure out, and some common causes of anxious attachment
(00:09:01) - Here’s where you begin exploring
(00:12:40) - What can happen in relationship as you start doing this work, and how to help that
(00:13:55) - A caveat for people with trauma or abuse in their past
***
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Mentioned in this episode:
Self Worth
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right, team, welcome back to the man talk show. |
| 0:08.5 | Connor Beaton here. |
| 0:09.5 | And today, it's going to be talking about shadow work for the anxious attachment. |
| 0:14.9 | We're going to talk a little bit about shadow work in general, what it is, why it's important. |
| 0:18.5 | Talk a little bit about the anxious attachment and then how shadow work is going to help |
| 0:22.0 | you become more securely attached. |
| 0:24.7 | So let's dive straight in. |
| 0:26.9 | First and foremost, what is the anxious attachment? |
| 0:30.6 | Well, I have a whole video on a man's guide to anxious attachment. |
| 0:33.9 | Hopefully you've watched that. |
| 0:35.0 | If not, go cue it up. |
| 0:36.5 | But a very simple version that |
| 0:38.0 | i'm going to give you right here is that an anxious person their internal experience is my world |
| 0:44.4 | is not okay unless you are okay so for the anxious partner they are constantly looking for cues |
| 0:52.6 | looking for evidence that their partner is okay, |
| 0:55.9 | their husband, their wife, their boyfriend, their girlfriend. |
| 0:58.5 | They're looking to see, are you all right? |
| 1:00.6 | Because if you're okay, then maybe I can be okay. |
| 1:03.4 | But if you're not okay, then I am disrupted. |
| 1:06.8 | And so the anxious attached person learned or didn't learn, let's just say didn't learn, |
| 1:12.8 | how to self-regulate, how to self-soothe, how to basically get their internal homeostasis |
| 1:20.3 | to a baseline on their own. And through different circumstances and events, what they learned |
... |
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