Sexual Masochism, Schemas, and Bad Trauma Screeners
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 8 May 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 Attachment style & BDSM
23:54 Is it helpful to revisit old journals?
29:19 How can I not intellectualize my feelings?
34:20 Was this trauma screener harmful?
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Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being. Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Deserving listeners. I thought I would read some of your emails. And of course, patrons and |
| 0:06.0 | YouTube members have preference for this because we get a lot of emails and I need some way of |
| 0:11.6 | differentiating. And so this email is from anonymous patron. She says, hi. I quote unquote, |
| 0:17.9 | enjoyed the rape fantasies episode that you published. Okay, so just chime in. |
| 0:22.5 | So, you know, we published a rape fantasies episode and it's been re-ran at least once. |
| 0:28.4 | And she's saying, I quote unquote enjoyed it, meaning I don't know another word to put to it, but I enjoyed it. |
| 0:35.5 | As a going out with email, as a self-identifying masochist, I didn't realize |
| 0:40.5 | there were so many other explanations for why people have rape fantasies until I listen to your |
| 0:44.7 | episode. I have always considered myself a masochist. Ever since I watched Law and Order |
| 0:50.5 | SVU at the age of 12, I knew that I was a masochist, meaning, you know, |
| 0:55.9 | chiming that she enjoys fantasies about being harmed during sex, that kind of thing, or coerced |
| 1:02.7 | going on. In my late teens and early 20s, I experienced three sexual assaults, and I'm unsure how to feel about one of these still. |
| 1:14.9 | All right, just chime me in. So, yeah, I think you understand what she's saying there going on. |
| 1:20.8 | Recently, I began therapy, and I have begun to contextualize my issues in view of my attachment style, which I now realize |
| 1:29.1 | is disorganized or fearful avoidant. So those are just, I mean, those are synonymous, |
| 1:34.9 | disorganized, fearful, avoidant. Those are referring to the same, you know, attachment style, |
| 1:39.4 | which is associated with a lot of childhood abuse going on. |
| 1:48.8 | Learning about this, learning about my attachment style, has allowed me to have a lot more compassion for myself. Would you be willing to do a podcast on disorganized attachment and |
| 1:53.7 | masochism? I have a feeling a lot of people would identify with the content and maybe more people |
| 1:58.9 | could be honest and kind with themselves about their |
| 2:01.5 | masochism. I ask in part just because it's my pet interest right now and I love your podcast, |
| 2:07.7 | but also because I know that since the beginning of this kind of therapy, I actually have experienced |
... |
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