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LATE BLOOMERS

SEXPECTATIONS: The pressure, the shame, and the reality of sex in long-term relationships

LATE BLOOMERS

Rich & Rox Pink

Self-improvement, Education

5.0599 Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sex is everywhere—movies, TV, social media—but it’s always the honeymoon version. No one talks about what happens when the obsession fades, when life gets in the way, or when desire feels more like a pressure than a passion. In this episode, Rox and Rich dive into the unspoken struggles of long-term intimacy, from the countdown clock of “how long it’s been” to the shame of lower desire and the weight of unrealistic expectations.

They unpack the pressure society puts on both men and women—why Rox feels hyper-aware of when they last had sex, and why Rich worried he wasn’t "good enough." They get real about sober sex, the anxiety that comes with it, and how neurodivergence (like PDA struggles and black-and-white thinking) can make intimacy even more complex.

How often should couples be having sex? Is there a magic number? And most importantly, how do you build intimacy without making it feel like a chore? Spoiler: it’s all about communication, trust, and ditching the expectations.

This one’s raw, real, and maybe a little too honest. But no one’s alone in this—so let’s talk about it.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the late bloomer's podcast where we are.

0:03.0

Getting our lives together eventually.

0:05.7

It's a big one today.

0:07.1

It is a big one today.

0:08.9

Romance time.

0:10.6

Romance time.

0:12.0

It's another thing that nobody talks about, can I just say, ever.

0:19.0

I feel like I've been lied to forever from everyone me too and it's also another

0:24.5

thing that society makes you feel pretty rubbish about if you're normal on both sides yeah men

0:32.6

women everybody in between you don't escape the expectations that are put on your gender.

0:42.5

Sex expectations.

0:43.6

Sex expectations for your performance, passion, enjoyment, schedule.

0:50.2

Oh, man.

0:51.1

Oh, man.

0:51.9

Like, it's...

0:53.1

It's horrible, isn't it?

0:54.0

Where do we even start? It's pretty horrible. Like, it's... It's horrible, isn't it? Where do we even start?

0:55.1

It's pretty horrible.

0:56.4

Well, let's start with the good bit.

0:59.8

Okay.

1:00.7

Which is the honeymoon phase.

1:03.8

Oh, wow.

...

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