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Hello, my lovely betwixters, it's me, Kate Lister. I am here once more with you to help you

help yourselves help me help you help everybody stay safe and untriggered as we continue.

This is your fair dues warning. This is an adult podcast book, my adult other adults about

adulty subjects in an adulty way and you should be an adult too. But now we've got that little

lot out of the way. I am ready to do this if you are.

Picture the scene, betwixters. It is a bracing winter in 1603 at Hampton Court,

and as the winds howl outside inside the Great Hall, a party is underway. But it's not just any

party. Oh no, no, no. This is the Mask of the Chinese Magician. It's King James I,

first new year at the palace and let me tell you this is a man who loved a knees up. He also loved

his male lovers. We're not entirely sure what his wife Queen Anne thought about that, but at the

very least she seemed to tolerate them. One such lover, Sir Philip Herbert, is leading the

entertainment with a dance. He is wearing a costume laden with heavy sapphires and emeralds. It is

extra. There is one problem however. Sir Philip hasn't rehearsed this and as he dances his way

through the Great Hall of Hampton Court, the sheer weight of the costume means that by the end of it

he's struggling to even stand up. Can you even imagine the anxiety the next day?

...