Setting Healthy Boundaries with Family Dr. John Townsend Ep 250

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Education, Leisure, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.9 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2019

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

As moms, we are like a life support system for our kids. To keep our families healthy, we need to be healthy. A key part of our overall well being is setting healthy boundaries.

But boundaries are hard. They require uncomfortable, direct conversations. We may need to put a limit on really good things or draw a line in the sand with our in-laws or parents.

My guest, Dr. John Townsend literally wrote the book on boundaries and he shares some deep wisdom on how to set healthy boundaries while honoring our family members and others.

You've got to take care of your energy, your heart and your emotions. You've got to take care of yourself and your health. If you don't guard that heart, then the wellsprings of life won't come out from it. Boundaries are basically about how to set healthy, loving limits in our life. So we have something to offer to our children.

Townsend answers your tough questions about set limits with in-laws, making healthy boundaries for the holidays and even models having a tough conversation with a parent about a boundary.

This is an episode packed with great information and Townsend has several books and resources available if you want to go deeper. Let’s make setting healthy boundaries a priority and guard our hearts and our time to bring life to our family!

What we chat about:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
Setting boundaries is guarding our wellspring of life so we can love our kids
His book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
Is setting boundaries biblical? YES!
The difference between hurting and harming someone when it comes to setting boundaries
Honoring vs obeying your parents as an adult
What it looks like to have a boundary setting conversation
Conveying love in hard conversations and not getting hijacked with emotions or blame
Giving three chances when you set new boundaries and how to have consequences when they aren’t respected
Turning to spiritual family when biological family isn’t what your kids need
Keeping the lines of communication open with grandparents and communicating boundaries in love
Looking for mild, moderate and severe reactions to suggestions and boundary setting
Suggestions for setting healthy boundaries for the holidays
The idea of people fuel and relational nutrients that help us fuel up

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey y'all, welcome back to the Don't Mom Alone Podcast.
0:10.4	I'm your host, Heather McFadden, and this is the place where I'm going to walk alongside
0:15.0	you and connect you with people and resources that remind you you don't mom alone.
0:20.7	In this episode, number 250, I have the privilege of chatting with the one who literally wrote
0:26.6	the book on boundaries.
0:28.3	Dr. John Townsend.
0:30.3	When you've had to set limits and you want to get close again, then you re-engage with
0:34.6	the person and you say, I want to try again, but I want to be as good a friend as I can
0:39.2	be or a good adult, as I can be.
0:41.9	But things have got to change on your end, too.
0:43.4	And if they say, I have no intent of changing, you're the problem.
0:46.8	What they're saying is, there's nothing new to trust.
0:50.1	Love is free, but trust is earned.
0:51.9	We've got to remember that.
0:52.9	Love is free as you know, air, but trust is earned.
0:56.4	But they go, no, I'm going to stay the way I am.
0:58.7	I don't have to change.
0:59.7	And they're telling you to keep the boundaries.
1:02.0	As moms, we are like a life support system for our kids.
1:05.6	And to keep our families healthy, we need to be healthy.
1:08.8	A key part of our overall well-being is setting healthy boundaries.
1:13.5	But setting those boundaries is so hard and they often require uncomfortable, direct conversations.
	...

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