Setting Healthy Boundaries: Elicia Ybarra on Red Flags in Martial Arts (Part 2)

A Little Bit Culty

Sarah Edmondson & Anthony “Nippy” Ames

Education, Society & Culture

4.6 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 January 2026

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In Part 2 of our conversation with Elicia Ybarra, she unpacks her path to healing through EMDR trauma therapy. She realized how buried triggers from years of grooming and abuse sabotaged her marriage and self-defense curriculum development, leading to a near-separation and inability to be touched even by her son. She broke down her "Pretty Hands, Hard Punches" empowerment model. We also discussed why stats show 975/1000 sexual assault perpetrators walk free, the red flags of abuse, multi-layered boundaries (emotional, time, social), and the "think, yell, run, fight, tell" progression with simple, realistic strikes like palm heels to the nose (tested by board-breaking!).

Elicia shared red flags for parents: how to check for safe martial arts schools (check one-star reviews, watch instructor interactions, run background checks via Academy Safe, avoid MMA locker-room culture), how unquestioning obedience grooms kids to ignore gut instincts, and practical family rules like no adult secrets with children and always respecting "no" to hugs.

Be sure to follow Elicia on her website, prettyhandshardpunches.com, or on Facebook or Instagram @prettyhandshardpunches.

Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual assault statistics and low conviction rates, trauma triggers/panic attacks, strangulation, and stalking/harassment.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS:

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This holiday season has already been a little bit stressful. We went away for Thanksgiving and I had to go back to Vancouver for a last-minute family thing. And between that travel and figuring out what my kids want for Christmas and hosting and holiday band concerts and last-minute plans, let's be honest, money stress. It's really easy to lose track of where your cash is actually going. That's why we've been using Monarch. Rated Wall Street Journal's best budgeting app of 2025, Monarch is an all-in-one
0:25.6	personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in a clean dashboard on your
0:30.4	phone or laptop. Right now, I'm keeping an eye on our holiday spending category so we don't start
0:35.2	the new year with a debt hangover. Monarch lets you link
0:38.1	everything, checking, investments, retirement, even property value so you can see your true net worth
0:42.5	and stay on top of your year-end priorities. Nippy and I use it for quick weekly money check-ins,
0:47.6	which has made financial conversations way easier and far less stressful. Thank you, Monarch.
0:53.0	Ignoring your finances completely can get expensive fast.
0:56.1	If you don't pay attention, you might miss chances to save more, invest smarter, or move closer to big
1:00.1	goals. One of ours is buying a home in the next year, so we got to get on top of it. And Monarch keeps you
1:05.3	informed, even in the chaos of the holidays. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks.
1:10.2	Use code culty at monarch.com
1:11.9	in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com
1:17.3	with code culty. Happy holidays. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be
1:23.1	considered legal, medical, or mental health advice. The views and opinions expressed do not
1:27.4	necessarily reflect the official policy apposition of the podcast and are not intended to considered legal, medical, or mental health advice. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily
1:27.9	reflect the official policy or position of the podcast and are not intended to malign any religion,
1:32.7	group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone, or anything.
1:47.8	I'm Sarah Edmondson. And I'm Sarah Edmondson.
1:50.9	And I'm Anthony Nippy Ames, and this is a little bit culty. We woke up from a cult, and that journey was captured in The Vow on HBO and in my memoir, Scarred.
1:56.3	Now, in this podcast, we break down the shame and secrets that make these experiences so destructive with
2:01.2	honest conversations on how seemingly benign groups can cross into the cult of us, and how to
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 16 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Sarah Edmondson & Anthony “Nippy” Ames, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Sarah Edmondson & Anthony “Nippy” Ames and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.