Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now, and you're listening to the Flying Free

podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden

emotional and spiritual abuse.

Welcome to episode 69 of the Flying Free Podcast. Today I have Rachel and Becky here

with me and we are going to be answering a listener question that has so many, it actually has so many questions in it

and there's so many things to talk about.

This could be triggering though for some of you so brace yourselves. Okay. I know this actually kind of triggered me because I could relate to so many things that she asked.

So the woman that wrote in she has been in and out of therapy for several years

both by herself as well as in you know co therapy with her husband and she is coming at this from the

perspective of being a person who wants things to work. She believes that her

husband is trying and she believes that her husband is changing, but she said he still

blames her and tries to control her. She said that she feels like the

counseling has helped him to temper his rage.

She says she's been practicing healthy boundaries but she has been accused of

pulling away from her husband. The counselor is telling her that it's her fault because she has childhood triggers.

So in other words, she's interpreting his abuse incorrectly

due to her own issues and the way that she's presenting her boundaries

is triggering her husband.

I have so many things I want to say right now but I'm going to hold.

I'm going to hold back.

Then the counselor tells her to have boundaries in place

so that she won't feel the shame and the blame because her pain is caused by her past and it's not being caused by what's happening in her present.

...