Setting Boundaries in Relationships

Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast

David J Puder

Science, Health & Fitness, Medicine

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 11 August 2018

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What are boundaries?

When we refer to boundaries, we are talking about emotional walls that are healthy. Boundaries are meant to keep us in relationship with the people that we love.

Think of them as your property lines around your house. You know where your lines are, where your property ends and your neighbors begins. Therefore you know what you are supposed to take care of and what your neighbor is supposed to take care of.

A boundary defines our self. Within ourselves, our “property” consists of our physical body, our desires, our intellect, and our ability to make decisions. It gives us a sense of defining what is “me” and what is “not me.”

We are not supposed to take on too much of other people’s emotional experiences. When I was a newly practicing psychiatrist, I didn’t know that, and I felt depressed after meeting with a depressed patient. It is possible to have an understanding of what is happening in someone’s emotional world, but not take it on yourself.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to the podcast as your host, Dr. David Pewter, and I'm joined today with
0:15.7	none other than my wife, Lindsey Pewter.
0:18.7	She is a former leadership coach for a company.
0:22.0	She worked in an HR department and did leadership development and leadership coaching 360s.
0:28.3	And currently she's a mother of two children and does some coaching on the side, leadership
0:32.5	development and dating coaching.
0:35.0	And I'll put her Instagram in the show notes, which is probably where she is most connected
0:40.6	with people at what is it?
0:43.7	Lindsey Pewter.
0:44.7	Lindsey Pewter.
0:46.6	So welcome to the podcast.
0:48.4	It's fun to be on here with you.
0:51.4	She has been very supportive of my endeavors to podcast, which I am most grateful.
0:57.8	Today we are going to be talking about boundaries and this is going to be a very practical episode
1:04.2	on how to establish boundaries that keep you in healthy relationships and to not overstep
1:12.1	your sort of psychological boundaries, physical boundaries.
1:18.7	So Lindsey, yeah, how would you define boundaries?
1:22.8	Yeah, it's a great question and I want to throw the question back onto you and say, what
1:29.4	is your preconception of boundaries?
1:34.0	Because I think for some people, the term boundaries can have a very negative connotation.
1:39.0	It can feel kind of cold and harsh, like, ugh, I don't like your boundary.
1:44.6	And I think in our marriage, we even had moments before in the past where we've had that
	...

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