Recently, I've been really struggling with the urge to self-sabotage.

Like I just want to fuck everything up, and it's so irritating because when it comes to self-sabbatage it's not like we do this on

purpose I mean why would we want to self-sabbatage on purpose it's something

that almost happens subconsciously, like at least for me, I can fall

into a negative mindset or I don't even want to say negative mindset.

How do I want to put this? I can fall into a

self-destructive mindset on accident, you know, the causes for the

self-destructive mindset vary, but at times I can fall into a self-destructive mindset vary but at times I can fall into a self-destructive

mindset on accident and then it leads me to to self-destructive behavior and none of it is conscious, none of it is an active choice.

It's all sort of happening subconsciously and that's what makes it so complicated. I don't think any of us

purposely self-sabbatage, right? I mean, I think when all of us actively think about it, we all want to succeed.

Why the fuck would we want to self-sabotage?

We all want to succeed.

Does anyone want to fail?

No.

You know, I mean, ideally, should we be okay with failure and

understand that it's, you know, a part of ultimately succeeding one day? Of course,

sure. However, do we all want to succeed as soon as possible? Of course we do. So again, it's like, that's what's so complicated about the urge to self-sabatage. It's subconscious. None of us consciously want to

fuck ourselves over. It doesn't make any sense. And recently I've fallen into a bit of a self-destructive mindset. I've sort of had this

craving for self-sabbatage. And thus far I have been able to fight it off, right? Like, I actually don't think I've executed on any of my

destructive desires, but I've been very tempted to recently.

And it sort of, I don't know, just got me thinking about it.

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