I lived a lot of my life making decisions based on either how somebody is going to react or even just the fear of what their feelings or reaction is going to be.

And sometimes I wouldn't even do something or even think of doing something because I was afraid of how my parents are going to react or what my parents are going to say. The thing that drives me in that is how am I going to be a great sister, a great partner one day, a great contributor to society, first and foremost, like, a great Muslim and, like,

answer to a law on the day of judgment if I'm not working on myself. So I think sometimes we think

like that work comes later, oh, you'll get married and then you'll figure out how to be like a wife

or a partner to somebody. And it's, no, I think that work actually starts a long time before,

you know, you get into that.

And all this work is helping you be a great person in all the relationships in your life, one to yourself and then to everybody around you.

So I think we have to remember that we're helping ourselves and we're helping everyone else around us, even if they don't see that.

Yeah. if they don't see that. Going after what makes you happy as an Arab Muslim woman doesn't always come with instant

gratification.

There is pain and there is guilt involved when finally making a decision for yourself.

You're listening to Unsweet and Unfiltered the podcast, Episode 10 of Season 4.

I often wonder to myself, will I ever experience happiness without allowing myself to poison

the moment by the idea that I'm making others unhappy in return?

Grief is interesting when it shows up in moments where you are

welcoming a new chapter in your life, a chapter you have been making to act for for the longest.

Yet somehow, in some way, without an invite, grief can show up and incessantly knock on your door,

and you have no choice but to acknowledge it. But I'm trying my best to not allow grief to paralyze me,

or to instill

fear in me and prevent me from entering this new chapter of my life. I am someone who has stayed

in her comfort zone for far too long, and so naturally self-doubt is trying to keep me here a bit

longer, but for the first time, I'm refusing to do so. Someone else who may understand what I'm going

...