Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue (208)

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Social Sciences, Society & Culture, Science, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2023

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What is secure attachment and how can I grow my own capacity for security?

We’ve covered the different protection and connection strategies - preoccupied (red on the spectrum), dismissing (blue on the spectrum), and unresolved (tie-dye), but today’s episode is all about what secure attachment actually looks like in daily life. You’ve experienced the continuum from red, blue, or even tie-dye, but how do you know when you’re in your green? A securely attached system doesn’t mean you’re never upset - it’s about having the ability to stay engaged while you have big feelings. In this episode, Ann and Sue discuss what this can look like conversationally, conditions that promote a secure base in parenting, and how to check in with yourself and deepen your connection with others.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	For those of you out there that we were trying to distinguish between feeling secure and
0:08.9	being secure, this is a good one.
0:11.2	Because if you are just feeling secure, then you think, I don't need influence.
0:14.1	I'm confident.
0:15.1	I know what I mean.
0:16.1	I say what I mean and I mean what I say and I don't need somebody else telling me what
0:20.1	to do.
0:21.1	I don't need somebody else telling me how to raise my child.
0:23.0	I don't need somebody else filling the blank.
0:26.9	If that's what you're saying to yourself, want you to realize that that is you in a protective
0:32.1	insecure state because a secure way of relating and a secure attachment once is I need influence.
0:38.9	I need others.
0:39.9	There are a lot of people smarter than me and there's a lot of people that I can help.
0:45.3	And that is a secure way of connection.
0:49.6	Welcome to Therapist Uncensored.
0:51.6	Building on decades of professional experience, this podcast tackles neurobiology, modern
0:56.1	attachment and more in an honest way that's helpful in healing humans.
1:00.4	Your session begins now with Dr. Ann Kelly and Sue Marriott.
1:04.9	Hey, we'd like to thank a partner for our show.
1:13.8	I've been using AG1 daily now for over six months, which is amazing for me.
1:19.4	I forget things a lot, but I really make an effort to take the AG1 regularly because
1:24.6	it gives me all the good things.
	...

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