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Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Secrets to Good Communication: The Art of Conversation

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC and Creator of TrueLoveDates.com

Self-improvement, Relationships, Education, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Society & Culture

4.9 • 757 Ratings

🗓️ 21 December 2021

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Good communication isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not even a gender thing. It’s something you have to learn (CLICK TO Tweet it!) I was on a talk show where I was talking about the importance of good communication in relationships. The host of the show stopped me to ask, “Debra, do you mean to tell me you expect men to be good communicators?” Why, yes. That is absolutely what I am saying. To be honest, I was really frustrated with that question. Because I rebel against the stereotype that men can’t be good communicators. I think it’s insulting, and unfair, and sets us up for less than God’s best in our relationships. We need to expect more, and teach both our sons and our daughters the importance of healthy communication… It has to be practiced. And even when you’re married and in love…you’ll still have communication issues to work through. Take me for example: a wife of 11 years, licensed counselor and relationship expert. But just recently my husband and I had one of those “communication mishaps” that we had to work through….(don’t worry, I’ll tell you aaaaaallllll about it!) because communication is something you have to practice. On this episode, I talk to a young man who is struggling to communicate well, and wants some suggestions on how to get to the next level with expressing himself, especially with his emotions. Because in order to express our feelings, we have to first acknowledge them. Good Communication Skills Are Up For Grabs In this podcast, we talk through some practical steps to good communication, and cover these important topics: Why communicating and expressing emotions isn’t a male/female thing. The four levels of communication and why they matter. How our family background and culture can influence our ability to communicate. Some suggestions in learning to acknowledge our emotions and feelings.  Why it takes practice to get to a better place with our communication. How to learn good communication even long before you’re in a romantic relationship. Learning to recognize the WALLS (barriers to good communication) that you have whether or not you realize it – because they’re keeping you from healthy communication. This concept has really changed my life and I write all about it in Choosing Marriage, but today I’m sharing it with you on the show! And of course, a few candid conversations about my relationship with John and some of our most recent communication mishaps! If you want some practical advice to mastering the art of communication, then episode is SO SO SO SO important for you to listen to! Because good communication isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you have to learn. (TWEET IT!) Single, dating, or married this show has something for you. Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Love and Relationships podcast, a hotline-style show where people call in with all of their questions about love, sex, dating, singleness, marriage, and mental and emotional health.

0:31.1

I'm your host, Deborah Felita.

0:32.9

And I'm so glad you're tuning into these candid, unscripted conversations where I answer your questions

0:38.7

in short, bite-sized, practical answers.

0:42.1

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a licensed professional counselor, relationship expert, and author of five books.

0:48.5

I also run the popular relationship advice blog, TrueLovedates.com, reaching millions of people with the message that

0:55.6

healthy people make healthy relationships. If you have a question that you want me to answer on the show,

1:02.2

send it by voice memo to Deborah at Truelovedates.com or submit it on my podcast page,

1:08.4

truveladates.com slash love and relationships. And I'll do my best to get it

1:14.1

answered on one of the episodes. Without further to do, let's dig in to today's topic.

1:22.9

The Love and Relationships podcast has gotten a whole lot of new listeners over the past couple

1:28.0

years.

1:29.0

So we're taking some time to review and refresh some of your favorite episodes.

1:35.3

Whether this is your first time to listen or just a refresher, I want you to sit back and enjoy

1:41.9

some of these must listen to episodes from the Love and Relationships

1:46.7

podcast. So today we're taking a unique look into the topic of communication. If you've heard

1:55.3

any relationship advice in your entire life, it probably had something to do with communication because communication

2:03.0

is the lifeline of a relationship. The health and well-being of your relationships really come down

2:10.5

to how you communicate. But unfortunately, communication isn't something you're born knowing how to do.

2:17.1

No one masters communication

2:18.8

just by chance. Just like anything else in life, it's something that has to be learned and

2:24.5

practiced in order to be mastered. Today's caller is struggling with communication. He's having a

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