This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of IHeart Radio.

Good morning.

This is Laura.

Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

Today's tip is that you don't need to explain your every move and request.

As long as you are being reasonable, saying less might keep you from causing a bigger problem.

People are also too wrapped up in their own lives, to obsess much over

your actions. So you can usually just live your life. This episode is first airing over the holidays.

It's a time when extended family and friends gather,

and people go to parties and the like. Often in these contexts, we feel the need to explain our

various choices. You might mentally prepare explanations of why you are asking visitors to take off their shoes in your

mudroom. You might come up with a list of bullet points about why you gave some folks gift cards

instead of presents. You tee up arguments about why you are not drinking alcohol or eating the

brownies that everyone else is raving about.

Maybe you feel like whatever you are doing is conspicuous,

and if it is not what everyone else does, you might be self-conscious about it.

But if you ponder all the mental energy that you put into your own choices, you can quickly

see that there isn't a huge amount left over for anything else.

Have you been obsessing over whether your colleague is drinking at that party?

Did you notice if Aunt Gertrude ate your cheese dip? Did you demand an explanation from a relative

...