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Good morning.

This is Laura.

Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

Today's tip is to loop for understanding.

This technique for challenging conversations can help keep things from boiling over

and helps make sure that everyone feels heard.

Today's tip, like another one this week, comes from Charles Duhigg's new book, Super Communicators.

In this book, Doohigg shares strategies for having better conversations, so you can connect

with people more effectively.

Sometimes conversations are easy, and sometimes they are not.

Doohig shares some stories of experiments that have brought together people with wildly different views on hot-button topics,

and have taught them constructive conversational strategies. One that all of us can try in our own lives is to loop for understanding. Here's how

this works. You can ask the speaker questions, and then reflect back what you heard, and confirm that you understand.

So, for instance, if your spouse is upset because he or she feels like they are always doing the bedtime routine with your kids, your response should not be.

What do you mean? I did it Tuesday. You never give me credit

for anything. As you can imagine, this is not going to make the situation any better. Indeed,

the two of you might start fighting and maybe even wake the kids up, so you both have to do

bedtime duty again.

Looping for understanding would mean that after you've asked your spouse some questions about

...