Hi, I'm Mike, short for Michael. I'm a bike, short for Michael.

I'm Vinnie, and I'm a vending machine.

I live in a small office, in a corner room.

Do you know what do they do at the office?

You know, I've never actually seen it. I think business.

They do business. They do business in the office. It's no pleasure.

I am Dina, a pacifier.

Typical day ranges from hell to nightmare.

My person, I haven't seen him in a while. I'm starting to forget him.

Carrie, Chris? No, that's not it.

Chili's? No, that's a restaurant.

I'm a phone booth.

I hope it's okay to say there's definitely fewer of you.

I'm a realist. Yeah, there are fewer of us.

Times change, that's the reality.

You could be upset about it, or you can accept it. That's just life.

When somebody slams down the receiver, does it hurt?

It hurts more emotionally than physically.

Meet those inanimate objects, and more, on the new season of Everything is Alive, coming next week.

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