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Transcript

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0:00.0	People of Earth, the following podcast is not real.
0:08.1	Uh, podcast.
0:09.6	Did I just say podcast?
0:11.4	Did I just come up with a better name for what we're doing?
0:14.7	Did I just come up with a better name for nearly all of these types of things?
0:18.0	Did I just rebrand about half the internet? All this unused marketing
0:23.3	potential crammed into a lustrous razor-sharp carapace. Such as life, sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of foon.
0:57.5	I'm your host, Arne Neacamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything
1:01.4	you need to know. Over 10 and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger
1:06.7	King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of food. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal through the Dimensional Rift, and I use that to upload a podcast recorded here in the tavern, the ruffled feather, in the heart of McShingleshane Forest, on the outskirts of Hogsface in the magical land of Foon. And I'm joined, as always, by my good bud my cousin chunt the talking badger
1:29.7	arnie arnie arny arny arny exciting news oh yeah what's this it's a bestseller arny it's a bestseller
1:37.0	what's a bestseller you know how i forgot to tell you about the children's books i was writing
1:42.8	uh you're writing children's books I was writing?
1:45.9	You're writing children's books?
1:53.9	Yes, it's about a kid named Narnie, and he falls into a hole, and he ends up in a sort of a different land.
1:56.4	Narni's a real scamp.
1:58.0	He's a real nared well, a real sort of, I don't know, just a real rascal. Yeah. Do I get a piece of any of this? Why would you? No, no, no, no. I only get a piece because I wrote the theme song. Oh, yeah. The Chronicles, what of Narnia? Guys, look, I know I use a lot of filler phrases. You don't have to make fun of that character and call him Narnie, uh.
2:19.4	Like, just because I always say, uh, or like, or, hmm, noises like that.
2:24.7	Oh, it's not, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my gosh, Arnie, this is so awkward.
2:30.8	It's not based on you.
2:32.6	It sounds like it's about me. Narnie is a 6 foot 4 kid. I'm 6 foot 4 and I'm a cat. I'm a kid at heart and I'm 6 foot 4. You heard he fell through a hole, right? He fell through a hole. You fell through a portal. Yeah. Well, wait, what did Narnie fall through? A hole. But that would make it the same.
2:53.4	Don't say it like it's different when it's literally the same.
	...

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