Regular listeners of How to Fail will know how obsessed I am with reality television and that's why I'm so excited that I get to talk to you about the return of one of my favorite shows.

Van der Popp rules is back for a brand new season on Hey You and well there's a lot to unpack.

I'm frothing with excitement because the Pump Rules gang is back on our screens with new episodes

dropping the same day as the US on Hey You. You.

You.

because with a show this hot, nobody wants spoilers.

To sign up to Hey You today, just visit Hey You.com.

That's H-A-Y-U-D-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-C-O-O-T-O-T-O-T-E-O-T-O-T-O-T-O-T'E,

and you can thank me later. The Crusaders on the hillside are whispering prayers.

It's a little after five o'clock in the morning,

and a spring dawn has just broken.

Other than the prayers on the lips of these troops,

everything is peaceful.

A light breeze rustles the grass and crops on the rolling hills around them.

From the small town at the bottom of the hill, Cockrels crow to welcome the new day.

And then there are the small sounds of this band of holy warriors who stand ready with white crusading crosses sewn to their clothes. Their few hundred horses let out little

snorts and winnies. Armoured knights shifting in their leather saddles clatter and creak.

They're quiet because it's early, but they're also waiting for something, or rather for someone. Their

leader is a nobleman called Simon Demonthford. He's a hardened warrior from a long line of

crusading heroes. He's the Earl of Leicester and he's the brother-in-law of the English king Henry the third.

Simon is charismatic, bloody-minded and highly religious.

He inspires incredible devotion among his followers and he has a talent for making them believe completely

...