Hey there, Craig here. Nothing to worry about, but we're experiencing some slight phasal shifts here on the bunker.

Good chunk of the alabaster room just disappeared and Dex IV through 9 are growing screaming crystals.

But as Emperor, I've delegated all that to Trisha, the mysterious intern.

Now I'm going to push a few buttons and hope everything fixes itself. Enjoy the show!

Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune. I'm your host Arne

E. Camp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know about three and a half plus-ish years ago.

I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune.

Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift.

And I use that to upload a podcast. I record every week here in the tavern. Oh, here in my favorite tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur.

Although, I'm sorry, John. Yeah. Activia changed the name of the tavern.

And I think we promised to keep calling it that, but for the life of me, I can never remember the acronym.

Oh boy, I think it was Adelbees. That doesn't make any sense to me.

Really? I mean, that's the one that I like the best.

Yeah, I'm... was it think-think-foon? Think? Think-gottos is it's fune?

Think-think-foon? Think-think-foon? Think it's...

Wait, hold on just a second. Yeah. Use it or... Yes, what?

I know. We... I don't know why I'm whispering.

I am use it or... or... Wizard of the 12th Rail, Mothafesius Master of Light and Shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devour of chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarracus.

Oh, yeah, baby.

The devil's name is Fien-Yalek. The dwarves name is Soden and his stungies, and I am known in the North East as gasmaniac Maystar,

and there may be other secret names so powerful that if I were to turn it after them allowed,

most assuredly, your eyeballs would turn into liquid drip from nine eyes as eyeball tears,

...