The following podcast is not real. There are no other worlds. And if there were a believe

me, they're not going to be first contacting you anytime soon. I mean, sort it out.

Okay, Craig, I still haven't fixed that glitch that makes you think you're a steamboat

captain, but do you want to hop on some pre-show announcement action?

Well, we only got a few minutes here before we head out to Charleston, but first I wanted

to remind you that there's a special interactive episode of Hello from the Magic Tavern on

the Amazon Echo, called Magic Tavern Adventure. It's completely free and has flower in it

and drip fang and you can affect the choices made in the episode. And those choices get

very, very strange. That's Magic Tavern Adventure for the Amazon Echo.

Back to you, Mr. Hawthorn.

Thanks, Craig. I'm sure based on that reading, our sponsors are Scrooge McDucking

it through their piles of gold. And now, without further delay, enjoy the show.

Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the Magic

Land of Foon. I'm your host, Arnaud Camp. If you've never listened to the podcast before,

this is everything you need to know about two and three quarters years ago. I fell through

a dimensional portal behind a bird king in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of

Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from that dimensional rift where I upload

a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, which is filled

with secrets and secret objects and weapons that you know what, I am trying to find with

the help of you, dear listener, but also with the help of my co-host, Yusidor, The Wizard.

I am Yusidor, Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator

of Magical Lights, Devour of Chaos, Champion of the Great Pulse of Trockus, the Elves Noeus

...