Science of Social Bonding in Family, Friendship & Romantic Love

Huberman Lab

Scicomm Media

Life Sciences, Health & Fitness, Science

4.8 • 30.3K Ratings

🗓️ 20 December 2021

⏱️ 93 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode I discuss the science of social bonding- the process by which we form attachments. I explain the neural and hormonal basis for "social homeostasis" (our drive for a given amount of socializing) which reveals why we get lonely, why we seek out connection with others and how power dynamics (hierarchies) shape those connections. I also discuss the neurochemical basis of introversion and extroversion, of trust and how shared experiences that promote similar physiological states in two or more individuals, leads to more rapid bonding. I also discuss how food and oxytocin play key roles in social bonding. This episode covers quality peer-reviewed science and practical tools for anyone seeking to find, build or end relationships. Read the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://athleticgreens.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/hubermanlab Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Timestamps 00:00:00 Social Bonding: Child-Parent, Romantic, Friendship, Breakups 00:03:10 Sponsors: AG1, LMNT & Waking Up 00:07:08 Social Bonding as a Biological Process 00:10:03 Social Isolation 00:13:32 Social Homeostasis & Neural Circuits for Social Drive 00:18:55 Brain Areas & (Neuro)Chemistry of Social Drive 00:22:48 What Is Social Homeostasis & Dopamine 00:27:00 When We Lack Social Interactions: Short- Versus Long-Term 00:28:10 Introverts & Extroverts 00:31:00 “Good” Versus “Bad” Social Interactions & Hierarchies 00:33:54 Loneliness & Dorsal Raphe Nucleus & Social Hunger 00:37:33 Tools 00:38:05 Socializing & Food Appetite: Crossover Craving 00:42:45 Falling in Love 00:45:05 Tools for Social Bonds: Merging Physiologies; Story 00:53:54 Childhood Attachment Patterns in Adulthood 01:03:45 Attachment Styles: Autonomic Versus Intellectual Attachment 01:06:10 Emotional Empathy & Cognitive Empathy, Arguing 01:09:45 Allan N. Schore & “Right Brain Psychotherapy” 01:10:40 Oxytocin & Trust, In Males Versus Females, Hormonal Glue 01:16:10 Repairing Broken Bonds to Self & Others 01:18:56 Social (Media) Butterflies: Biological Basis 01:24:08 Key Points for Bonding & Understanding Social Bonds 01:27:07 Breaking Up 01:28:36 Synthesis 01:31:17 Zero-Cost Support, Sponsors, Supplements, Instagram, Twitter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.
0:08.7	I'm Andrew Huberman and I'm a professor of neurobiology and
0:12.4	Ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. Today's episode is about the biology, psychology, and practices of
0:19.5	social bonding. From the day we are born until the day we die, the quality of our social bonds dictates much of our quality of life.
0:27.2	It should therefore be no surprise that our brain and indeed much of our entire nervous system is
0:34.3	wired for social bonds.
0:36.8	Now social bonds occur between infant and parent.
0:40.0	They're even particular
0:42.0	wiring diagrams within the brain and spinal cord and body that are oriented towards the specific bonds that occur between infant and mother as
0:50.2	well as infant and father.
0:52.2	And we have specific brain circuitries for friendship,
0:55.8	specific brain circuitries that are activated in romantic relationships and as it goes specific brain circuitries that are activated when we break up with a
1:06.1	romantic partner or when they break up with us or when somebody passes away, moves away or
1:11.4	otherwise leaves our lives in one form or another.
1:15.3	Today we are going to talk about to those brain and nervous system circuitries.
1:19.1	We're also going to talk about the neurochemicals and hormones that underlie their function and we are going to touch on a
1:25.7	number of important and actionable tools that you can apply in everyday life and because we are headed into the holiday, the new years and Christmas holiday that you can deploy in your various interactions with family members and friends and should you not be spending time with family members and friends today.
1:43.3	We are also going to talk about how to achieve social bonds out of the context of family and romantic partnership and friendship.
1:50.7	So today's episode is going to include a lot of science, a lot of actionable tools and I'm confident that you will come away from today's episode with tremendous knowledge about how you function.
2:02.0	For instance, if you're an introvert or an extrovert, why is that? Turns out there may be a neurochemical basis for that.
2:07.9	Maybe you're somebody that really enjoys social media. Maybe you're somebody that doesn't.
2:11.4	Today I'm going to talk about a gene or a set of genes that predicts whether or not you will follow more people or seek out more online social interactions
	...

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