Science of Social Bonding in Family, Friendship & Romantic Love

Huberman Lab

Scicomm Media

Science, Health & Fitness, Life Sciences

4.8 • 26.2K Ratings

🗓️ 20 December 2021

⏱️ 93 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode I discuss the science of social bonding- the process by which we form attachments. I explain the neural and hormonal basis for "social homeostasis" (our drive for a given amount of socializing) which reveals why we get lonely, why we seek out connection with others and how power dynamics (hierarchies) shape those connections. I also discuss the neurochemical basis of introversion and extroversion, of trust and how shared experiences that promote similar physiological states in two or more individuals, leads to more rapid bonding. I also discuss how food and oxytocin play key roles in social bonding. This episode covers quality peer-reviewed science and practical tools for anyone seeking to find, build or end relationships. For the full show notes, visit hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1 (Athletic Greens): https://athleticgreens.com/huberman InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman Thesis: https://takethesis.com/huberman Supplements from Momentous https://www.livemomentous.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Social Bonding: Child-Parent, Romantic, Friendship, Breakups (00:02:55) Sponsors (00:07:08) Social Bonding as a Biological Process (00:10:03) Social Isolation (00:13:32) Social Homeostasis & Neural Circuits for Social Drive (00:18:55) Brain Areas & (Neuro)Chemistry of Social Drive (00:22:48) What is Social Homeostasis & Dopamine (00:27:00) When We Lack Social Interactions: Short- Versus Long-Term (00:28:10) Introverts & Extroverts (00:31:00) “Good” Versus “Bad” Social Interactions & Hierarchies (00:33:54) Loneliness & Dorsal Raphe Nucleus & Social Hunger (00:37:33) Tools (00:38:05) Socializing & Food Appetite: Crossover Craving (00:42:45) Falling in Love (00:45:05) Tools for Social Bonds: Merging Physiologies; Story (00:53:54) Childhood Attachment Patterns in Adulthood (01:03:45) Attachment Styles: Autonomic Versus Intellectual Attachment (01:06:10) Emotional Empathy & Cognitive Empathy, Arguing (01:09:45) Allan N. Schore & “Right Brain Psychotherapy” (01:10:40) Oxytocin & Trust, In Males Versus Females, Hormonal Glue (01:16:10) Repairing Broken Bonds to Self & Others (01:18:56) Social (Media) Butterflies: Biological Basis (01:24:08) Key Points for Bonding & Understanding Social Bonds (01:27:07) Breaking Up (01:28:36) Synthesis (01:31:17) Zero-Cost Support, Sponsors, Supplements, Instagram, Twitter Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.
0:08.7	I'm Andrew Huberman and I'm a professor of neurobiology and
0:12.4	Ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. Today's episode is about the biology, psychology, and practices of
0:19.5	social bonding. From the day we are born until the day we die, the quality of our social bonds dictates much of our quality of life.
0:27.2	It should therefore be no surprise that our brain and indeed much of our entire nervous system is
0:34.3	wired for social bonds.
0:36.8	Now social bonds occur between infant and parent.
0:40.0	They're even particular
0:42.0	wiring diagrams within the brain and spinal cord and body that are oriented towards the specific bonds that occur between infant and mother as
0:50.2	well as infant and father.
0:52.2	And we have specific brain circuitries for friendship,
0:55.8	specific brain circuitries that are activated in romantic relationships and as it goes specific brain circuitries that are activated when we break up with a
1:06.1	romantic partner or when they break up with us or when somebody passes away, moves away or
1:11.4	otherwise leaves our lives in one form or another.
1:15.3	Today we are going to talk about to those brain and nervous system circuitries.
1:19.1	We're also going to talk about the neurochemicals and hormones that underlie their function and we are going to touch on a
1:25.7	number of important and actionable tools that you can apply in everyday life and because we are headed into the holiday, the new years and Christmas holiday that you can deploy in your various interactions with family members and friends and should you not be spending time with family members and friends today.
1:43.3	We are also going to talk about how to achieve social bonds out of the context of family and romantic partnership and friendship.
1:50.7	So today's episode is going to include a lot of science, a lot of actionable tools and I'm confident that you will come away from today's episode with tremendous knowledge about how you function.
2:02.0	For instance, if you're an introvert or an extrovert, why is that? Turns out there may be a neurochemical basis for that.
2:07.9	Maybe you're somebody that really enjoys social media. Maybe you're somebody that doesn't.
2:11.4	Today I'm going to talk about a gene or a set of genes that predicts whether or not you will follow more people or seek out more online social interactions
	...

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