School bully crushes my family jewels, so I make his phone and girlfriend disappear.

Here's what happened. Subscribe to Am I the jerk on YouTube and hit the bell for notifications.

A long time ago, I was a young man in an all-boys secondary school. I was about 14 for any

international readers, and my friends and I were regularly bullied by a large group of older guys.

Being typical nerdy boys, we were prime candidates for bullying. The only saving grace was that

we were quite a large group ourselves, so no one person was targeted more than any other.

Unfortunately, that didn't matter as the bullying was brutal. On our school grounds,

there was a small cabin that belonged to the local boy scouts that we used to hang out around

on our lunch break. One day, we had to run in with the bullies when they tried to steal our football.

For daring to not hand it over, I was singled out for punishment, so I was grabbed by four of them.

Each grabbing an arm in a leg and carried around the corner to a small courtyard with a flagpole

in the middle. After a few punches for struggling, I was swung backwards and forwards a few times

before being swung legs apart and full force into the pole. Any attempts to describe how painful

that was wouldn't do it justice. Thankfully, one of my friends had made a run for the teacher,

and they were spotted coming towards the group by a lookout before they had a chance to take

another swing, and they dropped me and legged it. I was carried off to the school's office,

nauseous, and in tears, and my mum was called. She found me with an ice pack between my legs and

ghoulies the size of oranges. As she was talking to the receptionist and teacher, my friends ran

up to me and passed me a mobile phone. I was confused as I didn't own one, and it was at a time when

they weren't nearly as common as they are now, and they didn't even have games on them yet.

It was an early Nokia with an LCD screen. I looked at my friend and asked who it was. He told me

one of the bullies had dropped it as they ran off, and he thought that I should have it as a small

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