Warning, e-lives on this when reviewing another Kirk Cameron movie.

So you might want to pause this and pee first.

This week's episode of The Skating Atheist is brought to you by the new non-perishable communion option for Catholics.

Spiced Christ, Absolution Meat, or Scam.

Do you have trouble finding the time to go hunt yourself a fresh savior?

Are you anticipating a long stretch in your Underground Doomsday bunker?

Does your church have NFC security devices to prevent people taking home leftovers from the Jesus buffet?

Well, all that can be fixed if you buy our scam.

Spiced Christ, Absolution Meat, get some cannibalism in the can.

And now The Skating Atheist.

This is Cali Wright from the Gatheus Manifesto and we did, in fact, evolve from Filthy Monkey Man.

And it's Thursday.

It's February 19th.

And there's nothing in the Bible that says gay people can't fuck standing up.

So, or even doggie style, really.

I'm Noah Luzon.

I'm Ethan Wright and from Affluent Suburb of Potomk, about Dosta, Georgia.

This is The Skating Atheist.

On this week's episode, we'll learn that either God exists so there's a giant ball of plasma in the center of the solar system.

Jesus gets out and performed at the box office by Dominatrisis.

And Eli Bosnick will be here to offer some Christian marital advice.

But first, the tie and drive.

...