SC 117 - Can It Work If My Partner Is 50% Into Personal Growth?

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2017

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Personal growth isn't the end all be all. But it does make a massive difference if you want a thriving partnership over time...

QUESTION:
“My question is in relation to Podcast #34, Triggers.
I’ve heard you’ve say in numerous podcasts what’s required to have growth oriented people, that it requires 100% commitment of “I’m in” to the path of personal development and responsibility and interest in myself for this work to be effective. What do you do if a person is 50% in? What do you do if they’re interested in taking responsibility and owning themselves about half the time? The rest of the time is still blaming, dealing with upsets, resentment and disconnection. The latter is tremendously difficult for me and brings up a lot for me. I can continue to work with my end of it, but also notice 50% is not good enough for me. I want more. Do you come up to this a lot in your work and if so, what are your solutions to dealing with it?"
- Max, Boulder, CO - 3/29/17

SHOWNOTES

Why you both need to be all-in [3:00]
Can a man who has sexual addiction to escorts because of anger overcome his addiction, and how do I stand by him while he’s working on this? [6:00]
Would a man cuddle with a female he doesn’t like or interested in? [7:00]
What causes a man to cheat when the woman helps with just about everything and will do anything for him? [9:00]
How do you know then you’re ready to take the next step in a relationship? [10:00]
How can I get him to understand that I don’t want it all the time and it doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to him? [11:00]
When you and your partner are under stress [12:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	So, Hello, what's up, and welcome back to the Smart Couple Podcast, Ask Me Anything.
0:25.0	10 a.m. Mountain Time Boulder, Colorado, Facebook Live, Instagram Live, if you want to join us.
0:32.0	Okay, this gets recorded. Facebook live, Instagram live, if you want to join us.
0:33.0	Okay, this gets recorded and then uploaded for iTunes.
0:37.0	If you want to ask us a question, email info at
0:43.6	JasonGattis.com and make sure the subject line says
0:47.0	podcast question.
0:48.7	All right, keep it short, we don't need a ton of backstory.
0:51.7	Or you can go to
0:53.4	jason gattice dot com slash ask jason
0:56.4	and there's a little recorder and you can just record your minute
0:59.2	long question or so okay and I love to answer those as well. All right, this question is from Max in Boulder.
1:07.0	I've heard you say at numerous times in podcasts what is required to have growth-oriented people in our lives that it requires and effective. What do you do if a person is 50% in? What do you do if they're interested in taking responsibility
1:26.5	and owning themselves about half the time? The way I interpret that is owning their part half the time.
1:32.4	The rest of the time.
1:33.0	The rest of the time, it's still blaming, dealing with upsets, resentment, and disconnection.
1:37.8	The latter is tremendously difficult for me and brings up a lot for me.
1:40.6	I can continue to work with my end of it but also notice 50% is not
1:46.2	good enough for me. I want more. I hear you Max. Do you come up to this a lot in
1:51.8	your work and if so what are your solutions for dealing with
1:54.1	it would love to hear your thoughts. Yeah okay this is common I hear this question
1:58.0	frequently and basically Max we're talking about business partnership or you and I are on a rowing team or we're playing tennis or something and if, you know, we've got a match coming up and you want to go 50% and I want to go 100. I'm going to be pissed at you
	...

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