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Lez Hang Out | A Lesbian Podcast

SBG 125: Van Helsing with Alix Markman

Lez Hang Out | A Lesbian Podcast

Lez Hang Out

Personal Journals, Tv & Film, Society & Culture

4.7 • 545 Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2024

⏱️ 85 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast that will now be brought to you with a Transylvanian accent.  This week, Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with Alix Markman (@markwoman), television and video game writer and returning podcast guest, to talk about why the 2004 campy, spooky action masterpiece Van Helsing Should’ve Been Gay.  If you are like Leigh and somehow managed not to see the chaotic bisexual fever dream that is Van Helsing 2004, the movie is essentially The Avengers for classic monsters like Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, and the good ol’ fashion werewolf. This monster hodgepodge is incredibly queer throughout, with Dracula’s wives in a sexy polycule, Dracula himself having an intriguing lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers vibe with monster slayer “GAY-briel” Van Helsing, and a beautiful bond developing between Van Helsing and Frankenstein’s Monster (and beloved himbo Carl) throughout the film. Of course, because it is 2004, literally every queer-coded woman ends up dead in the end, and we will not stand for this injustice!  In our better, gayer version of Van Helsing, we honestly do not even have to change that many things. There was every reason for Anna to either get bitten by her brother to become the werewolf that ultimately ends Dracula or to get turned by seductive vampire Aleera and join the power polycule. She 100% did not have to die before ever getting revenge for her family, but of course, Van Helsing gets the glory instead. Along with talking about how we would change the movie to be even gayer, we also discuss the inherent queerness of monsters (there is no such thing as a heterosexual vampire and you cannot convince us otherwise) and briefly touch on the trans allegory of Frankenstein’s Monster.  We know one thing for sure, Van Helsing Should’ve Been Gay.  Follow us on Twitter: (@lezhangoutpod) and answer our Q & Gay questions at the end of every episode. You can also join us on Facebook.com/lezhangoutpod and Instagram (@lezhangoutpod). Find us individually on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida). You can support Lez Hang Out while unlocking a bunch of awesome perks like access to our exclusive Discord, monthly full-length bonus episodes, weekly ad-free episodes, and more by joining us on Patreon at bit.ly/lezpatreon. You can also support the podcast by buying our original merch at bit.ly/lezshop and purchasing our original Lez-ssentials songs for as little as $1 each on Bandcamp! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Let's hang out.

0:02.5

Let's hang out.

0:03.4

And let's talk about what lessons are found.

0:06.0

Let's hang out.

0:06.9

And let's listen to two heads me and shout.

0:09.6

Let's hang out.

0:14.1

Hey, everyone.

0:15.0

Welcome back to Let's Hang Out.

0:16.0

I'm Ellie Bridgeta.

0:17.3

And I'm Lee Holmes Foster.

0:18.7

And here's what's happening this week.

0:20.4

This week in the last hour. And I'm Lee Holmes Foster, and here's what's happening this week.

0:23.9

This week in the Lesdom.

0:30.0

This Week in the Lesham is a place where we can touch base each episode about things around on the podcast or otherwise.

0:33.0

In season seven, we are releasing all kinds of bonus Patreon episodes.

0:55.8

Our most recent one was on red, white, and royal blue where we talk about all of the gay boys. If you want to check that out, you can check that out at fit.ly slash les patreon. And just a reminder, you can listen to all of the episodes of Journey to the Heart. They are up anywhere you listen to podcasts. And you should listen and, you know, get familiar with this version through the story because there's going to be another version of the story coming out for Pride Month.

0:59.4

So that way you can compare and contrast and decide which one you like best, you know?

1:05.5

Also, in the greater Les universe, we have talked about Sophia Bush a bunch on this podcast because girl has been doing things for the queer community for years.

1:09.4

But she did finally finally officially come out.

1:13.1

We all knew what was going on. We're all talking about all the rumors and stuff. But she officially said,

1:19.1

I feel like last summer I had my very first birthday, my own. And she's feeling really good

1:25.1

about her new queer identity. And we're, I love that for her. I love that for her. I wish there wasn't such a huge fucking cloud over it, you know? I know. I mean, we talked about this. We did basically an episode where we talked about this. I love that for her. I love that for all of the queers with Sophia Bush at their root. Like I want to be more excited about it than I feel.

...

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