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at dr laura dot com diane welcome to the program yeah hi dr laura good afternoon thank you for taking my call

um my husband and i have been married for 39 years.

We generally have a good friendship.

We generally get along, but we have some real sort of hurdles that we always need to get through.

And I can enumerate those.

But about three months ago, we both made the decision to, like, physically

separate. I got my own apartment, and he's living in the house. And we both are experiencing...

I'm sorry. What precipitated that? You have to explain to me. Yeah, I'd be happy too.

So my husband, I don't want to make it seem like I'm blaming him because he has problems with me, but from my point of view, my husband has always been very impatient and kind of

rough speaking with me, and I've always found that very difficult, and he doesn't see it as a problem,

so he really didn't have any incentive to change. So that's kind of an underlying issue that we've tried to work on even in counseling,

but it really seems to be just not changeable. But the second thing is he has been very frustrated with me for two reasons.

One is sexually he considers me, quote, unquote, very vanilla and he doesn't like the idea of quote unquote lovemaking.

He wants something more exciting.

So he's been pursuing trying to find some girl who has similar, you know,

interests that he does, you know, sort of kinky, aggressive sex.

And so I found out about that.

He, of course, admitted it.

...