You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

well, there's nothing you can't ask on the savage love cast.

So gay guys, if a queer-coated sea witch, half octopus, half dry queen swims up to the

stool next to you at the in pool bar, at the resort where you're staying in Porta

Vyarita this weekend, and promises you trillions of insatiable sex partners and the ability to go all

night every night and all you have to do is sign the contract she's waving under your nose read

the fine print first don't be one of those poor unfortunate holes who fails to read the fine print

poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need.

This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl, and do I help them?

Yes, indeed.

Those poor unfortunate souls, so sad.

Because the thing about those sea witches, especially the queer-coated ones, they're tricky.

But knowing how gay men are, yeah, some of you would sign that contract without reading the fine print first.

I mean, I have been to Darklands, I have been to lab, I have seen gay men stand in line for five hours in the rain

to get into a warehouse packed with a mere 500 potential sex partners. So here's the fine print

on that particular contract, that particular Seawitch and Porta Bairta is waving under your nose.

If you sign, you will have trillions of sex partners, but you will be a bug. You'll be one of the trillions

of chakadas that emerge from the ground once every 13 to 17 years, depending on which brood

you're in. Think of a chakata brewed like a drag house. And I'm sorry, but you don't get to

emerge on Fire Islander Fugerstraza. You emerge in downstate Illinois.

Here's the headline at LGBTQ Plus News and Culture website,

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