Savage Lovecast Episode 871

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage

Relationships, Society & Culture, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 6.4K Ratings

🗓️ 27 June 2023

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A woman and her husband have quit drinking. Hooray! But now that he’s sober he no longer feels comfortable getting pegged. Boo! How can he lower his inhibitions without the liquid courage? Dan chats with a woman who finally convinced her boyfriend to tell her about his secret, deep, dark, unrealizable fantasy. She and Dan problem-solve how to make it all work for him. Lucky lad… On the Magnum, just when you thought Pride month couldn’t get any gayer, Dan chats with Manuel Betancourt, author of The Male Gazed. They talk about the lasting impact of hiding your sexuality when you most want to express it, performing masculinity, wrestling singlets and a ton more. A transman has fallen in love with his best friend- a tranwoman. They had great sex, but the friend isn’t ready to be in a sexual relationship with the caller. How can he get over his heartbreak? He feels like she is the only one who truly understands him. We understand. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.
0:04.9	If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,
0:14.4	well, there's nothing you can't ask on the Savage Lovecast. Defined cheating is unforgivable, define cheating is unforgivable, and then complain about being single.
0:28.6	Or define cheating is unforgivable, define everything is cheating, and then wonder why you can't make
0:32.9	anything last longer than three months. Look, people, if you want your relationships to last, and sometimes
0:40.1	when I read the constantly expanding list of things that count as cheating, I wonder whether
0:45.0	people want their relationships to last or anybody else's relationship to last, not to go all
0:51.4	conspiracy theorist here, but I sometimes think those people who are out
0:56.3	there online constantly adding to the already long list of things that count as cheating
1:01.1	are a secret deep state, deep single cabal of bitter people out destroy everybody else's
1:07.6	relationships. Don't listen to the deep single cabal. Take my advice instead. If you want
1:12.4	your relationships to last, have a broad definition of sex and a narrow definition of cheating.
1:19.1	The more that counts as sex in the context of your relationship, the more sex you're going to have.
1:23.6	The more sex you have with your partner, the better you're going to feel about the relationship.
1:27.5	Statistically speaking, on average, individual results may vary. If oral counts and hand jobs count
1:33.3	and busting out the vibrators count and watching porn together side-by-side counts, if it doesn't
1:38.2	always have to rise to the level of penetrative sex to count, you will have more sex and couples
1:43.8	that have more sex tend to be
1:45.8	happier. But while keeping your definition of sex broad, keep your definition of cheating narrow.
1:52.0	Fucking someone else, cheating. We can all agree about that in the context of monogamous commitment
1:56.6	fucking someone else counts. But looking at porn, some people think that's cheating.
2:02.5	Some people think thinking about somebody else during sex is cheating.
	...

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