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If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

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Looks like we're flying again.

I hauled my ass onto an airplane last week, my backst ass, my masked face, and flew to Los Angeles.

And I wasn't alone at the airport.

It was packed.

Seeing as we're flying again, maybe a good time to remind everyone of Dan's three rules of flying. Rule number one, shut your mouth. Rule number two, shut your

window shade. Rule number three, seriously, shut your fucking mouth. Before take off, we should all

double check that our seatbelts are securely fastened and our mouths are closed. Those are my rules before the pandemic. There are a few

I need to add now. People should have to be vaccinated to fly. If I ran the FDA or the FAA,

that would definitely be a rule. Also, don't attack the crew or other passengers or try to open the door to the plane mid-flight.

If you really want to be duct-taped to a chair, that can be arranged.

You don't have to assault a flight attendant to make that happen for yourself.

There are people out there who would love to duct- duct tape you to a chair, and they are not hard

to find things to the internet.

So no need to risk arrest or a massive fine or go viral if that's what you want.

Now, before someone accuses me of being a misanthrope or an asshole, of course you can leave

the window shade open if you are

a child who has never flown before. And I am not against talking to strangers. Now and then,

I'm perfectly happy to talk with strangers. People approach me on the street and I'm always polite.

I've given impromptu sex advice in bars. I've accepted invitations

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