You're listening to a Stranger podcast, www.com.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

while there's nothing you can't pass on the Savage Lovecast.

Welcome to a very special installment, a very special episode of the Savage Lovecast.

We've banked some SM and kink and bondage calls and invited in a very special guest expert,

because I personally know nothing about SM Kink and Bondage.

Mistress Matisse, who's a columnist for the stranger and a blogger, and professional dominatrix.

And just generally a pervert. And I know this is pseudo-radio, and you can't see her, but she's fucking beautiful.

Oh, thank you, Dan. If you're listening way out in the middle of nowhere somewhere, you want to run to your computer, Google Mistress Matisse, and it'll take you right to your blog. Yes, it will. Thanks for coming in. No, thanks for having me. I'm very pleased to be here. The phone number here, if you want to record a call for a future show, 206, 201, 2720. but we're going to get to the kink calls. Is that all right? Let's go. And then we'll chat. Hi, Dan. I'm a 24-year-old straight female, and my husband and I have a question for you. We've been talking about what turns us on, and after listening to your podcast, I now know that I'm into submission. I want nothing more than for my man to take control,

tie me up, and fuck me to his heart's delight.

But after a series of conversations,

we've discovered that he is turned on by similar thoughts,

only it's me taking control.

What suggestions do you have for two people

who both want the other one to be dominant in the bedroom? We've got a call right at the top to give you a really bad impression of the general intelligence level of the callers because it wouldn't seem to occur to her to take fucking turns. They wouldn't work their way to that on their own. But what would your advice? My advice would be take fucking turns. That take fucking turns really is the advice here. Yeah, this is a really common issue that you see people coming into the media, people who have married, they love each other, it's all great, and they both figure out that they're kinky, and they're both want to be bottoms. Yeah. And most people want to be bottoms in BDSMMT? The bottom is sort of the focus of a lot of the attention. Yeah. And it's also a sort of less scary thing to do than sort of, you know, wielding implements that you may not be familiar with or sort of taking responsibility for things that you're not really sure you know how to do and possibly looking like an idiot. That's where blindfolds come in. Exactly. There's really a handy thing. They can't see you.

I always take off my high heels immediately when the blindfold goes on.

Those shoes come off, and then I'm very happy again. So, yeah. The pointfold is so the person can't see you stumbling around. I mean, it's a good thing for someone who's a novice who's not at the top. Excuse me, I don't stumble. Well, not you. Yeah. Tutter around in here, or heels maybe, but never stumble.

It's a good thing for a novice top to blindfold the bottom,

so you're not self-conscious about being observed as you fumble with whatever it is you're using. It is, although that really works better on women than men. Men are really visually stimulated, and sometimes you really lose guys that way. So the blindfold is a good thing if that works.

But also, you know, I think people have too much pressure on themselves to be perfect first crack out of the box.

It's like your husband and both of these people will know that the other one is just getting started.

So I don't think either one of them will expect the other one to be this like perfect, seamless, you know, porn star kind of top first crack out of the box.

...