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If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

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I've had sex in Utah. Have you had sex in Utah? I've had sex in Utah. But it's been a while.

Long time, actually. But if I recall correctly, the sex in Utah was pretty good. I've also had sex with guys who fled Utah and the Mormon church,

and that was also pretty good. Having sex with Mormons in Utah made me think of that

Ben Franklin bit of advice for a friend thinking about taking a mistress. Franklin urged his friend

to choose an older woman because they're so grateful. Well, if you're thinking about having gay sex,

you might want to choose an ex-Morman because they're so grateful and committed. It kind of makes sense, stands to reason

when someone has given up a lot to get that dick. When they walked away from their faith, when they've

risked and sometimes succeeded and alienating their families, they're not going to let any bit

of that dick go to waste. Like Native Americans on the Great Plains, they are going to use every part of the animal. So I'm not going to share any other details. I will spare you all the mental images. But I did want to share this. I wasn't arrested and prosecuted for fornication while I was in Utah or for sodomy, even though I could have been at the time arrested for both. In all fairness,

at least on the fornication front, it's been a while since anyone was prosecuted fornicating in

Utah. It's been decades, actually. But sex between unmarried people is a crime in Utah, class B

misdemeanor with up to $1,000 in fines and six months in jail.

Or it was a crime fornication.

Was a crime in Utah until late last week when Utah's Republican governor, Gary Herbert, signed the freedom to fuck legislation that had been sitting on his desk for a month.

So the next time you're in the Beehive State, don't you let Utah Criminal Code 76-7-103, which stated that any

unmarried person who shall voluntarily engage in sexual intercourse with another is guilty of

fornication. Don't let that stop you from getting with the haiti you met in line for the

chairlift because that shit has been repealed. I'd like to thank Utah's political class,

dominated as it is by conservative

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