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I've gotten a lot of letters over the last week, as you can probably imagine, from people curious about pissplay and the president-elect of the United States, Donald Trump, who will later this week become the president of the

United States, Donald Trump. What are you doing on inauguration day? I am going to be getting high,

listening to musicals, and sucking a dick. Those are my plans on inauguration day. I don't know

about yours, but I'm going to have a media blackout. I almost blacked out this week, just reading the thing that everybody read,

the dossier prepared by a British spy, looking into Donald Trump's and the Trump campaign's

connections to Russians, Russian intelligence, whether they've been compromised, whether

they were colluding with Russian intelligence agencies to throw the election here in the United States.

But of course, all anybody wants to talk about is the one thing in that dossier that suggests that perhaps the Russian intelligence agencies have a videotape of Donald Trump in a hotel suite that had been previously occupied by Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, where he paid some prostitutes to urinate all over the bed.

And so, P-hookers, as they said on Wonkette, pee-hookers. Let's talk about the P-hookers.

So I've been getting a lot of questions. Someone in my position would about Donald Trump

and whether he has a piss fetish. Donald Trump at his first press conference as president-elect

denied that this was even possible that he would ever do something like this. If you had told me

two years ago that the president-elect of the United States in 2016 would have to, at a press conference shortly before their inauguration, deny being into piss play, I would not have believed you.

But here we are.

Play the tape.

Does anyone really believe that story? I'm also very much of a

germaphobe, by the way. Believe me. One of the people who wrote to me about the president

elect and piss play said, in this rare case, is Donald Trump being truthful about his germophobia?

Should we conclude that this would make him less likely, his germophobia would make him less likely to be interested in golden showers and water sports?

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