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I'm old enough to remember when anti-gay bigots didn't have gay friends.

Mike Huckabee this week, last week, announced that he has gay friends as he runs around the country, stumping for anti-gay organizations, as he advocates discrimination against gay people and couples, as he suggests that being gay is a choice, like being an alcoholic is a choice.

Mike Huckabee has gay.

He wants to reassure America that he has gay friends, just like Sarah Palin has gay friends. In 2008, we heard about Sarah Palin's

imaginary gay friends, just like Rick Santorum in 2012. We heard all about rabidly anti-gay

Rick Santorum's imaginary gay friends. I like to imagine that Mike Huckabee's imaginary gay friends

get together with Rick Santorum's imaginary gay friends and Sarah Palin's imaginary gay friends. I like to imagine that Mike Huckabee's imaginary gay friends get together with Rick

Santorum's imaginary gay friends and Sarah Palin's imaginary gay friends. And they have imaginary

hot imaginary gay sex in Mike Huckabee's guest room. And I like to imagine that if Mike Huckabee

actually has gay friends, they're aware of all of his anti-gay activism. There is not an anti-gay movement or rally that that motherfucker isn't at running his mouth, attacking gays and lesbos-im puning even the motives of gays and lesbians who just want equal treatment under the law, suggesting that what we're really after is to persecute Christians.

Huckabee this week said, and Huckabee is running for president, everybody.

That's why I'm running my mouth about Mike Huckabee, fundamentalist evangelical Christian.

We have actually an evangelical Christian on the show later today of a different stripe.

But Huckabee, fundamentalist, evangelical Christian, said this week that allowing same-sex couples to marry, legal same-sex marriage, is akin to forcing Jewish people to eat bacon and serve shrimp.

Jews, of course, live in a country full of people eating shrimp and bacon, right? And it's no skin

off there. And there are lots of Jews out there who eat bacon and shrimp and are happy to serve

it to anyone who likes it. But Mike Huckabee, in their imagination, knowing in the tortured,

persecution, martyr complex, hors shittery that is fundamentalist evangelical Christianity today,

knowing that there are people out there who are legally free to do that which your faith forbids you to do is somehow persecution.

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