You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast, www.com.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

while there's nothing you can pass ask on Savage Lovecast.

This is going to piss off the tech savvy at risk youth, but I feel honor bound to defend Christmas every year about this time by saying, for the love of God, please don't post dirty pictures of yourself in front of a Christmas tree with

Christmas lights wrapped around your dick, with stockings hung on the chimney with care behind you.

Do not bend over and spread your ass and give us the full beaver shot roadkill version or

your asshole and your cock and balls in a Christmas context because Christmas is not sexy.

And I'm inspired right now to do this rant even though the Texcavi at risk.

They're glaring at me from all over the room because it was just running outside the office to get lunch.

And there's a sex shop across the street from our offices here in Seattle.

And they have a window display with their hunky male and hot female mannequins wearing dog collars and harnesses and leather muzzles and reindeer horns and red sparkly underpants standing with a Christmas tree.

And it is about the least sexy thing that you can imagine because Christmas isn't

fucking sexy.

And no amount of harnesses and dog collars and red sparkly underpants is going to make

Christmas sexy.

So just stop.

You're upsetting me and Sarah Palin.

Do you know how hard it is to upset both of us at once with one thing?

This will do it.

This horror on Christmas stuff that you guys keep trying to pull on us every year.

No more horror on Christmas.

Leave Christmas alone.

...