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The Stranger.com

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary,

or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

while there's nothing you can pass,

on the Savage Lovecast, people are asking me why I've had nothing to say

about the Arnold Schwarzenegger love child situation.

People are asking me about it sometimes in rather accusatory tones,

I have to say, in the emails looking through a couple weeks' worth

of Savage Love Mail here today.

And there are a lot of accusations styled as questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger cheating

on Maria Shriver with the help and having a love child that he concealed from his wife

successfully for more than a decade and blah, blah, blah.

It's all my fault, I guess, according to some of the mail, some of the people in the mail,

because I'm a big proponent of non-monogamous slash monogamish relationships and

aging Hollywood action stars don't drop their drawers without checking in with me first.

And look, look, Dan, look at what

non-monogamy did to Arnold Schwarzenegger and his family. Poor Maria. Won't you admit now, Dan,

that non-monogamy brings chaos. Failed marriages, devastated children, scandalous scandals.

Ladies and gentlemen, Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn't in a non-monogamous relationship.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was in a monogamous relationship.

...