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If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

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Before we get to your calls, I have some distressing news for the centaur fetishists and people

in the mermaids and furries out there who are anxiously awaiting the results of genetic

experiments that may provide them with the sex partners of their dreams.

Senator Sam Brownback, religious conservative, whackadoodle, a former presidential candidate, has introduced a bill that would ban the production of animal-human hybrids by genetic scientists working in the United States.

This is hilarious.

I mean, I don't think that people should make animal human hybrids.

Generally, I'm sort of opposed.

But, you know, the Republicans are always saying that the government shouldn't be meddling in our private lives unless you're queer or you're a woman. You want an abortion. You want to access to a birthday drug. Otherwise, it shouldn't be meddling in your private life at all. You know, if you want to own an assault rifle in case an army of horny gay centaurs are charging your house to rape your whole family, you should own that assault rifle. There should be

no limits on the weapons you can own. But, you know, if you own a human sperm cell and a horse egg,

and you figure out a way to combine those to make the centaur partner of your dreams,

the government should step in and prevent you from realizing that fantasy and creating

that life. And I thought they were pro-life. I guess they're not pro-life. They're not pro-Sentar

life. They're not pro-Mermaid life. They're not pro-you know, women with cheetah skin and big hairy

tit life. They're humanist. I guess we have to make humanists like races. Humanist means a

good thing where I come from. But I think we need to mean, it needs to be raised. Like they're anti-Centar.

They're centaurs. They're anti-that fawn guy from Lion, Witch, and the Warder. Well, I thought

it was kind of hot, you know, for somebody with goat legs and twee tastes and interior

design, I thought he was kind of hot. You know, I would have done him. I'm not sure what a

goat penis looks like, but hopefully he didn't have a goat penis. Hopefully he was goat from the

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