Dund dun dun dun dun dun bing

What's up everybody?

Everyone having a good one.

You having a good one?

Me, not so bad. I'm living it.

I'll tell you what though.

I'm getting to the point of my being an old person where

other people's beds are fucking me up.

Like I went and visited my dad last week and he had a pull-out couch.

I flip. I mean, right there. Right there. Why don't you just go ahead and fucking flare up the sciatica?

Let's just fuck up the scoliosis down there, baby. Modern science is so

extremely advanced. We're talking particle physics, but you can't figure out the fucking pullout

bed. Really? You're telling me that we understand quantum mechanics, but we can't figure out a

fucking pull out bed. We can make a meatball out of extinct woolly mammoth meat, but you can't figure out a pull out bed. I'll tell you what, scientists. Some of your dad should have pulled out. Yeah, that's what I think. Some of your dad should have pulled out before making you because you can't figure out how to make a pull-out bed. What the fuck? It's so painful.

And now my back hurts. So that's what's happening. There's something I can do about it.

Just old now, which is disappointing. But, you know, it just is what it is. I'm an old person now. And it's like, part of my multivitamin is fucking Advil because everything hurts all the time.

Physically, yes. Emotionally, yes. They need Advil because everything hurts all the time. Physically, yes, emotionally, yes. They need

Advil for emotional pain. Oh, they do. It's called Xanax, I guess, or weed, or alcohol.

That's what it is. Alcohol. That should be the next alcohol slogan campaign. Alcohol for when you're emotionally in pain.

Do you take Advil when your body hurts?

Well, let me suggest alcohol for when your emotions hurt.

Let's call the brand I.

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