Welcome, friend. It's July 19th, National Flight Attendant Safety Day. I'm not sure what that entails exactly, but be sure to leave them plenty of room when they pass down the aisle. A poor stewardess once bumped her ass against my hand. Luckily, no serious injuries.

True story, Chester. Those old fly to friendly skies

with Pan Am days are over. In any case, let's head inside. That's where I keep my smokes.

Hmm. That's better. Almost as nice as simplyscarypodcast.com.

Did you know for as little as $5 a month

you can get their entire catalog dating back to 2012,

add free and available to download or stream?

Sign up as a patron today.

And if you happen to pass by patreon.com forward slash

Drew Blood on the way,

well, pop in and say hi.

All right, y'all,

smoke them if you got them

and drink those glasses to the bottom

because your old pal Drew Blood

has a tell to tell.

And tonight, our tale comes courtesy of our very own Jeff Sturdevin.

This one delves into a surrealized version of the Orient to explore the mysteries of exotic cuisine.

So without further delay, from old Q-ball head himself, I give you the relativist.

Who wouldn't love to work in a Chinese restaurant, if only for a day or two, just to see how they make all those delightful dishes?

Most takeout places have the kitchen visible so you can see the silvery chamber in all its workings.

Flames billowing from strange pipes, metal hoses, metallic tools,

...