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Two Idiot Girls

S6 E11: When Your Boyfriend Says You Have Corn Chip Toes ???

Two Idiot Girls

Headgum

Comedy, Improv, Society & Culture

4.91.3K Ratings

🗓️ 17 March 2026

⏱️ 63 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

helloooo freaksss!!! this week we decided to return to our roots and ask y'all "What is the worst thing they did to you and you stayed?" in this episode we talked about what to do when your boyfriend tells everyone you're his uber driver, why a man would poop on a puppy pad ???, and how to teach your man how to grocery shop when he's 25 years old!


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Transcript

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0:00.0

This is a headgum podcast.

0:13.5

All right, friends, welcome back to another episode of two idiot girls.

0:19.3

How you doing? Good. think i like looked weird into the camera because i think i

0:26.2

was trying to look down or blink and at the same time i was looking at the camera so if i did like

0:30.4

i feel like i did a doll eye thing oh just now i was like sorry about that how are you doing though

0:36.9

ears down i'm doing all down. I'm doing all right. One eye down. Yeah, I'm doing all right. My eyeballs hurt a little bit. What's that about? Not loving that, but I think that's why I did that doll I think. Just know. I can only do my left eye. I can't really do it. Oh, I could kind of do my right eye, but my left eye is my better one. Honestly, same, low-key, which is funny because I'm right-handed.

0:54.2

But I feel like my... I can't really do it. Oh, I could kind of do my right eye, but my left eye is my better one. Honestly, same, low key, which is funny because I'm right-handed.

0:57.6

But I feel like my left... What do your eyes have to do with your hand? You would just think that it would be the dominant side of you, you know what I mean? Right-handed, right-footed. You don't think it would be right-eyed? No, because you don't use those muscles nearly as much.

1:09.8

Speak for yourself.

1:10.5

You don't blink?

1:11.6

All you do is blink.

1:12.7

You're using those muscles constantly.

1:14.1

I'm the blinkiest scream. No, because you don't use those muscles nearly as much. Speak for yourself. You don't blink?

1:11.6

All you do is blink.

1:12.7

You're using those muscles constantly.

1:14.1

I'm the blinkiest girl in the world. Yeah, I know. That's what I said. You're using those muscles. My ex told me that I blink really loud and it made me really insecure, but she is right. And it makes me laugh. I think you just blink a ton. but it went it's really quiet if I lay there and I'm blinking you can hear it

1:27.4

well yeah if you're doing it a million times, yeah, probably. As I said, when you're blinking like shutter speed, like, then yeah, probably. My F stop. Aperture. Yeah. Alexa play aperture by Harry Styles. I got to lock back into it. Did you try it again?

1:47.6

I did try it again. Do you like it a little bit more? Yeah, I do. It's not that I didn't like it. Let me be fucking clear before the Harry's try to jump me. No, I didn't say that. We just listened to it and we were like, I got to listen to it again. I don't know that I liked it because we were playing it on a laptop and not paying attention. so I got to listen to it in headphones.

1:58.6

Yeah, same.

1:59.6

I will say American Girls is good.

2:03.3

I like that one.

2:03.9

That one's been over a little...

...

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