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Never Thought I'd Say This

S4 Ep94: Thanksgivities

Never Thought I'd Say This

Audioboom Studios

Comedy, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 24 November 2021

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jodie and Celia do a Thanksgiving episode to “beat the band” (you’ll get it when you listen) where they share some of their favorite Thanksgiving fails courtesy of the interwebs. They also debrief on a few of their own Thanksgiving memories (Celia’s weirdly involve pets and their genitalia. No one knows why.) and Jodie creates a new word! Lastly, they play a round of Thanksgiving MadLibs which, goes exactly as you would expect. 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Never Thought I'd Say This. I am one of your hosts, Joe. Sweet and you are. And I am your other host, Celia Barr.

0:19.0

I'm pretty sure, as I said my own name, I like turned away from the mic so you couldn't really hear me. So that's great. No, no, no, it's just great mic technique. When you say the important part, you actually move further away from where everyone can hear you. No, great. That's how that's supposed to work. Yeah, well, I mean, look, if I know one thing in 34 years of this business, it's that you should turn away from people when you're talking to them. Actually, I'm not sure that's not appropriate. You know what? At this point, you should have

0:49.0

absolutely turn away from it. Right. But it definitely makes it harder to hear. Yeah. Aside from me and my awesome mic skills and obvious professionalism at doing a podcast. How are you today? I'm fine. I was catching you up a little bit before we started. I, I mystically, my, my razor got up out of my shower and walked away. That's so weird. I, you know, I've had bottles of dry shampoo do that. I've had, I've had shoes. I think we may be bewitched.

1:19.0

Yeah. Possibly in our homes. There may be tiny elves running around. It's like I picture, um, you know, Dobby, the little house elf, like that missing a sock. That's right. Maybe he's free in my house. No, because he's pretty, pretty fucking regular with his activity. Sorry. He's not free yet. He's still, he's still scrolling things away. Dude, I, it's just the like kids out there. And I know we've got teens that listen as well. Like all you guys, if you do something that's like stupid and you take

1:49.0

something from your parents and we bust you for it, just say you're sorry and give it back. Like or own it. Apologize, offer to replace it. I don't care. But the whole like, I don't know. I don't know where I just, I don't know. Like so, so over it. I'm going to tell you a story, um, all about how your life got to a flip, flip turned upside down. Uh, no, but I'm going to tell you a story about a friend. Yeah. Okay.

2:18.8

And their kids, she's putting air quotes. Okay. A friend in their kids. Yeah. That, uh, one day mom walked into the bathroom. And there was a bowl of Halloween candy that had been on top of the refrigerator, uh, along with empty wrappers all over the tub. Right.

2:37.6

And only one of them had been home. And so when confronted, they denied it was them.

2:45.2

And hadn't been there the four and a half days prior. So it was really strange because someone came into this person's house and used the restroom.

3:01.1

And candy, candy, candy, candy. Well, that's why. And then just fucking left. But didn't clean up any of the evidence. Well, no, because the whole point was shocking. You guys, I posted this shit on next door. Cause I was like, you have got to believe what just happened in my house.

3:22.1

To break in to no one bringing two problems. I am missing Halloween candy. And they've littered in the bathroom.

3:34.1

I was the audacity of the child.

3:40.1

I don't know. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I said, well, who, I mean the person said allegedly, well, who did? I don't know. I don't know, but it wasn't me. I don't know that I wasn't here. What? Right. I was like, I know you were. Oh my god. It's like the Eddie Isard skit when he's in your busted for lying as a kid. You know, and he's like, or Santa when he's just like, I didn't, I was, I was, I was dead at the time.

4:08.1

I was dead. I don't what to be fair. You know, I used to break into we, I said this before, we used to go into my mom's, uh, my mom's room, like eventually went Harvey moved in my mom, put a padlock on the door. Well, Harvey did. Cause he was like, screw this and screw them. Right. We still found ways to just screwed up. We took the side of the padlock off.

4:29.3

And like, would screw that back. We cracked the door eventually. Also, I would steal my mom's shit all the time. Dude, I'm missing like, I'm like, where did that? What? I had eyeliner. I think I still have things of my mom's that she doesn't know that I stole.

4:42.6

Honestly, and I took a sweet. I didn't do that. I just didn't do that. I loved it was really cute. And I wanted to wear it to the like final dance at camp, which means I would have it all summer.

4:58.6

Right. She was like, I know. And she kept that locked in a trunk in her room because she knew we all wanted it. Right. Sisters. I managed to bust into it. I stole it for the whole summer.

5:09.8

Yeah. Wow. And I put it back. Honestly, I'm not sure she knows that now. I mean, she, I think she listens to the show. So she probably right now. But I did give it back. Wow. I totally stole it. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's like the fun of of it, though, sort of, is when you become an adult and then you get to go, hey,

5:28.2

this is one time. So, and like tell them that story and like about the shit you did at a holiday or, you know, whatever. Like my mom and I have that relationship now where we can kind of we can like joke about, yes, about that sort of stuff or like where stuff where

5:43.5

it was blatantly obvious that I did something stupid. Right. And I was just up and down denial, denial, denial, you know, like I who I don't that's not my name.

5:54.7

You know, like, I don't know who that person is. I was dead at the end. Yes, exactly. I was not present in my body. Like, that's the fun part now, you know, and so we're coming up on the holiday. I know. Not the holiday. A holiday.

6:08.4

The Thanksgiving holiday. Yes. And so, of course, we have to talk about that and talk about family. But like, I just love these stories that come out years later when you're like, oh, my God, I finally, I can finally say this without repercussions. Like, there's no

6:24.4

what are you going to do, you know, this is the thing. So my sister and I, we decided one at different times we've tried, we've tried it or tried it with my mom where we would like be like, ha, ha, and tell her story.

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