from room 316 at the four points by Sheraton in Coral Gables, Florida. This is obscure season

3, weathering heights. I am your host, your friend, your earlover, your literary mansplain

or in chief and Georgianologist Michael E. and Black Southern Gentleman Esquaw, speaking

to you from humid, what should I say, humid, south, Florida, we have returned to Miami to

pay another visit to the Italian Consulate. Martha was able to secure us a last minute appointment.

A few days ago, we jetted down, we just returned from the Consulate, where a nice fella helped

us submit our application for an elective residency, and now we wait, we wait to see whether

or not we are approved for said visa, although I see no reason why we wouldn't be.

South Florida, as you know, muggy. I don't know why anybody lives here. Why does anybody

live here? This muggy, humid, swampy state. That being said, Miami seems pretty nice. If

you are going to live in Florida, my advice, live in Miami. Otherwise, just take a pencil

eraser to the whole state. It's just not a place people should be, or at least Americans.

Maybe the Spaniards had it figured out when they were here. If you head up to, was it

St. Augustine? That's supposed to be real nice. I haven't been there yet. That was the big

Spanish settlement there. In fact, the Italian Consulate is on Ponce de Leon Boulevard,

and on the bottom floor of the Italian Consulate, you can buy a Ferrari. It's not attached to

the Italian Consulate, but the store on the corner of that building sells for aries and

Aston Martin's and Maserati's and the whole thing. They do like Christmas times, just like

at the Lexus dealer, they've got bows on the hoods of the Ferrari. It's like, hey, bring

this home to your honey. $329,000. Of course, in Miami Vice, what was Don Johnson driving

around in Ferrari? It's only driving Miami. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati. It's a very Italian

city. They drive the Italian exotic sports cars around, and the ladies with boom, boom,

...