Madam, I hate to say it, but something must be done about Little Miranda.

She's fed my crew of demons, sugary bees, which has given them the wind.

My dance must be a formula!

I keep telling you darling, she must be returned to the painting.

I saw a single bat in my tea leaves this morning, so I think she'll be departing.

And yes, I know how fond of me of her you are.

If you hadn't dropped that teaspoon earlier this month, I don't think she would be here at all!

Oh no, you left your top hat on your bed.

Madam, that one foretells a pregnancy!

Whoops, maybe I'd better review my notes before our guests arrive.

Indeed!

Welcome in, my dear guests!

Lovely to see you arrive at the Midnight Library this fine evening.

Please come in and find a comfortable spot and make yourself at home.

I am happily your host, Miranda Merrick.

I noticed that some of you were careful to step into the reading room,

with your right foot carrying you over the threshold,

while others may have forgotten or disregarded this tradition.

I certainly do wish those of you who've strided in on your left foot

better luck in the future, however long your future may be.

Well, now that you're all comfy, I'm going to ask a rather broad question

of all of you gathered here this charming night,

...