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Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

S28E11: Using the RULER Method to Navigate Emotions

Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

iHeartPodcast

Education, Self-improvement

4.71.3K Ratings

🗓️ 12 December 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hey lady! You know we’re all about our gentle growth and continuous improvement over here so we’re excited to share an episode that will help grow your toolkit for whatever life may bring your way.

As we heal and process it’s common to notice where your childhood has yet again shaped your behavior and caused patterns that at one time seemed normal but now no longer serve you. Growing up in environments where our caregivers were doing the best they could with the tools they had means that we may not have always had the space to be your full self. And, if you grew up in a Black household it’s entirely plausible to not be allowed to feel your feelings and bury them instead.

But, we’re grown now and you are not only allowed to feel your feelings but you are encouraged to and there are frameworks that can help. This week, Dr. Dom and Terri present the RULER method, a powerful tool that can help you make your way through difficult and complex emotions so that you can remain in your sovereignty and stand in your integrity.

This five-step method can help you meet life as it comes, which will help you loosen the grip of needing to control life. Understanding your emotions offers you more choice in your experience, which can lead to feeling more stable, grounded and having increased capacity to feel the richness and beauty that life has to offer you. 

Using RULER in Real Life
· Recognizing: “How do I know what I’m feeling? What signals does my body send?”
· Understanding: “Where did this emotion come from? Is it layered with past wounds?”
· Labeling: Talk about the power of language—using words like “disrespected” vs “angry.”
· Expressing: “Who is safe to share this with? What’s an empowered way to show this?”
· Regulating: Tools and tips (breathwork, journaling, therapy, movement, prayer, etc.)

Quote of the Day:
“If you don’t know what you’re feeling, it’s hard to know what to do with your feelings.” 
– Dr. Marc Brackett  

Goal Mapping Starter Guide
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary  

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
The Perfect Pitch Cheat Sheet
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC  

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

On this week's episode of cultivating her space.

0:04.3

And crying was acceptable depending upon the situation, right?

0:10.3

So the thing that I learned a lot about growing up was your emotions, the validity of your

0:18.8

emotions depended on the context

0:21.6

when in reality

0:24.2

your emotions should be valid

0:26.8

no matter the context

0:28.6

Hey lady

0:31.8

Have you ever felt like the world

0:34.1

just doesn't get you?

0:36.4

Well, we do. Welcome to cultivating her space, the podcast dedicated

0:42.2

to uplifting and empowering women like you. We're your host, Dr. Dominique Broussard, an educator

0:49.4

and psychologist, and Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

1:01.2

Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black women to just be.

1:07.3

Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow button and leave us a quick five-star review.

1:12.2

Lady, we are black founded and black-owned, and your support will help us reach even more

1:17.1

women like you.

1:18.6

Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating Her Space.

1:25.1

Hey, lady, is Terry here?

1:27.4

If you want this to be your year, if you're tired of hiding and you know

1:31.2

deep down that your story deserves bigger stages, bigger rooms, and more visibility, this is for you.

1:38.2

Because over the past 13 years, I've pitched myself into six-figure opportunities with zero

...

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