S21E9: The Emotional Labor and Mental Load (In Dating & Relationships)

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5 • 877 Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Who carries the weight in your relationship or early dates—the calendar, the check-ins, the emotional temperature checks? We're diving into the mental load that happens in modern relationship – and what brings you closer versus take on unnecessary hardship. We're discussing the difference between emotional support, labor and load, the behind-the-scenes effort that shows up even in early dating, and the shifts you can make so you're no longer the one carrying as many emotional burdens (that you may not even be aware of!)

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Transcript

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1:11.7	Harley-Lauru. Happy endings and horror can mix after all. It's a gothic, sapphic romance
1:18.1	meets supernatural suspense, equal parts sinfully spicy and bone shilly. Salem was supposed to be
1:25.0	on her honeymoon. Instead, she's trapped at Belfour Manor with rain, a woman hiding secrets as dark as the house itself. This book gets four out of five peppers for bringing the heat. If you're a fan of the house across the lake by Riley Sager or Verity by Colleen Hoover, this must-read thriller is for you. The book just sucks you in. I swear,
1:46.6	I even caught myself looking behind my shoulder once or twice because Harley-LaRue builds
1:51.6	this tension that just lingers. You can find House of Rain by Harley-Lauru wherever books are
1:57.0	sold in print and an e-book. The gorgeous deluxe hardcover first printing is only available
2:02.8	for a limited time, so grab yours before they are gone. Hi, I'm U.S. U.S. U.S. and I'm Julie
2:08.9	Krafchick. We're active daters turned dating insiders. Here to dive into everything, modern
2:14.2	dating and relationships. Welcome to Datable.
2:30.3	Hello, friends. Welcome back to another episode of Datable. Are we ready to talk about psychology today? We always love the topic of anything related to psychology, because I think
2:37.0	you and I are really fascinated by it in general, and our audiences too. And one topic that we haven't
2:43.9	hit on yet that we want to talk about is emotional labor, mental load, and all of these unseen aspects of dating and relationship.
	...

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